A Life Full of Loss #1

Chapter: 5

My head is throbbing as a blinding light invades my vision, whispers come from all around me. The memories from the mission rush into my head. 

Shit. I lost control and then passed out. Damnit. 

 I groan, squinting my eyes making out tiny blobs I believe are my family. 

"Lights," I mumble, I hear the lights flick off, and the blinding light dims, my head still throbbing. I squint my eyes the blobs turning into people, I must be in the hospital wing, Lily is right above me a worried look on her face, my brothers beside me everyone in the room is pale. 

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?" I questioned, confused. 

"What do you remember?" Lily asked taking a seat next to my hospital bed and grabbing my hand, a petrified look on her face. I rub her hands trying to comfort her, as I recite what I remember.

 "I lost control after the target said something, that sent me spiraling into my memories, then we were falling out of the building, then Dom caught me before I hit the ground. Why did something else happen," I asked worried, it's been a while since I lost control. 

"Ana, you had a seizure," Lily signed everyone paled even further.

I felt the breath knocked out of my lungs "That's all, so I'm not dying or anything right because I have a meeting."

 I don't see what the big deal is I've had plenty of seizures because Paul used to use electroshock, and my brain is still damaged from it.

 "That's the thing, we did a scan, of your brain because the meds should have stopped it, you have a tumor in your brain, love," Lily spoke, pain lasing her voice, as she tried to stop the tears in her eyes from sliding down her face. I pulled her into my arms, not caring about the other's reactions. 

"How bad is it?" I asked Elijah who was a doctor.

 I knew that Lily wasn't stable enough to be my doctor, she was shaking in my arms, and I was more concerned for her than I was myself. 

"If you lose control again, it could be deadly," he signed, a grim look on his face, at the thought of losing me. 

"Can you remove it?" I asked, rubbing Lily's shaking form, who had her head crooked into my neck.

 "Not safely," he was defeated, and visually upset. 

"I need a second," I looked at Luna needing a moment with Lily, she nodded I silently thanked her as she ushered the others out of the hospital room closing the door behind her

"Lily love. I'm okay. I'm right here with you okay," I whispered, her body shook and she began to cry, her emotions getting the best of her. I

 raised her head in my palms squashing her cheeks. I held her as she cried. 

We dated for a while before breaking up because we lost feelings for each other. I didn't know how else to comfort her, so I just held her as she sobbed my heart breaking as each tear left her eyes, I whispered comforting words into her ears, half for her half trying to convince myself that I would be okay, and get through this. I had people still relying on me.

After a while of holding her, I heard her soft snores, letting me know she'd fallen asleep. I texted Luna to bring the others in, a few minutes the door opened and everyone came back in standing around us, watching us in awe smiling at us before getting comfortable.

 I continued to lazily stoke Lily's hair as a way to comfort myself. 

"Are there any other possible treatments?" I asked Elijah done with the idea of being in pain, but when am I not? I am constantly tortured by my memories, and my powers, even breathing is painful. 

But for some reason I'm not ready to die yet, the world still needs me, and my family needs me.

 "Nothing, worst the risk," he signed, scared for me, I could feel it in my bones. 

The room is just off. Everyone thinks I'm going to die. 

"Okay," I sighed.

I signed for him to detach my IV, and he complied and removed the straw that was positioned into one of my veins, blood gushed out, only to be absorbed into the cotton ball pressed firmly into my arm. 

After the bleeding stopped Lijah put a bandage on my arm, before helping me up making sure not to wake up Lily. I placed her onto the bed, the poor thing looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Ethan helped me hold myself up from the edge of the bed. My knees buckled from my body weight, he noticed my struggle and picked me up resting my head on his solder, supporting my back and legs. 

What am I going to do?