A Life Full of Loss #1

Chapter 17

Like I suspected I got no sleep last night. However I did remember a lot of fun times with Zelda. I remember how much she loved the beach even though she never got to go, hence why I have a cruise line in her honor. Each ship has a room dedicated for her that no one is allowed to go in. A part of her is always at sea. Even when we were locked in that cell she created happiness from the moment she was born till her death.

Five xxx years ago today I lost her forever, my first born, my star, my daughter, my Esmerleda. Gone. Killed by her own father. And it was all my fault. I stayed in the Library all night just sitting there watching the fish swim grieving the loss of my daughter the same thing I did every year. She should still be here. She would be here if it wasn't for me.

My twins and friends knew how hard this day was for me, as it was for all of us. We all lost her. So they gave me the space I needed and left me alone. My brothers didn't get the memo or notice the tension and continued to question me about who Esmerlda was. I just ignored them, not having the strength or energy to correct them.

The day moved by slowly and I spent most of my time torturing prisoners to get information out of them regarding him. I look at a shower scrubbing the blood off my scared body, before grabbing my motorcycle keys and leaving to go see my other babies. My brothers and Ezra tried to question where I was going, but I just shrugged them off and made my way to my motorcycle and drove off towards the little white house with the blue roof, that contained the two things I loved most in the world.

When I knocked on the door, Dom opened it and pulled me into one of his bear hugs. I happily hugged back. The twins were down for a nap so it was just the two of us. We made our way to the kitchen where Dom already had a glass of wine ready for me. "It wasn't your fault Red." I nodded and downed the wine, I was going to need alcohol if we were talking about my feelings.

"It was though, If I hadn't been so stupid then she would still be here. It's all my fault she's gone. Nothing will bring her back Dom, nothing," by the end, I was sobbing. "Anastasia, you were a fourteen year old child you had no idea what would happen, It is not your fault. Look at me," I did, "It is not your fault Anastasia Mia Ferrari." I nodded and practically jumped onto him. He caught me and hugged me back, holding me so I didn't shatter into a million pieces.

The doorbell rang and me and Dom instantly pulled our guns, no one other than us knew the location so who the hell is ringing on the doorbell. We inched our way over to the door and I looked through the peekhole to find my brothers, except my twins, and Ezra standing outside.

The relization came to me, "Those fuckers put a tracker onto me." Shit, Ezra is here. "Dom. What am I going to do?" I asked, starting to hypervolunte. "Shit Red look at me I am here nothing bad will happen." I nodded, shakingly , opening the door.

"What the hell do you want, and why did you put a tracker on me?" I asked to pull out the tracker from my hoodie pocket. They gulped looking at the crushed tracker, but they didn't respond, only pushed their way into my home.

"Whose kids live here?" Leon asked, looking at all the toys and artwork. And just before I could respond, two little people's footsteps coming from the stairs caused everyone to look up at my babies. Rora looked like me while Seb was an exact replica of Ezra. Shit. Ezra looked confused until our kids spotted him and screamed, "Daddy!" He passed out and fell onto the floor, I winced. Shit. Shit. Shit.

My brothers opened their mouths but no words came out. The twins noticed me and ran into my arms. "Mommy!" Now it was Leon, and Giovanni turned to pass out on top of Ezra. Jesus.

"Hi my munchkins, why don't you get out of your pjs and then we will play?" They nodded their heads before running up the stairs with no idea of the chaos they had just caused. I rubbed my hand over my face. "Why out of all the days, why did it have to be today," I muttered. And Dom looked at me sorry, before starting to pick up Ezra and my brothers.