A Life Full of Loss #1

Chapter 34

"Ana there is a ball tomorrow and you are in charge of hosting," Rosey told me.

 "I guess we should do it tomorrow," I sighed.

 We needed to tell our other brothers that we ruled countries I called the boys into my office after Rosey left. 

"Im apparently hosting a ball tomorrow and I thought we could announce our self as royals as Ana Knight not as Anastasia Diez-Ferrari. Any opinions," I asked my twins and Ezra. 

"Nope, we're good as long as you are," Elijah said, his voice still scratchy which I thought would go away from talking more. I guess not, I'm just proud he's comfortable enough to talk. 

"Okay, thanks guys," They smiled at me before exiting my office, leaving me to plan a ball.

 Thauria was hosting so the color would be Emerald Green and it would be hosted at the palice. Me and my brothers would be announced as princes and princess of Oplandia before we left and were introduced as out other titles. My only problem was which crown I should wear. My dress will be green for Thruia so I'll wear the green crown, then I will change into a blue dress and put on the blue crown for Malandrea. Perfect. I already had dresses ready so all I needed were the planners to decorate the ball room which they had just started.

 I put away my work and looked out the window just realizing the sun had set. Geez its been a day. My older brothers came into the room before grabbing me without a word and taking me outside. The youngest twins were already asleep as well as mom, but Luna and Miguel were awake and taking shots.

"There she is the workaholic," Ethan slurred leaning into Nick more who wasn't drinking. The others were all around. "Lets play twenty questions," Race boy suggests from Rousey's arms. "Okay," I agreed. Sitting on Ezra's lap he immediately rapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer. He handed me a shot which I downed.

"Dom you up first," Ryker said, dommy nodded in return, the first fifteen questions were easy, the last five not so much.

"Are you in a relationship?"

"No."

"Do you have kids?"

"Im not sure"

"Do you have a wife?"

"Ex wife."

"Do you like anyone?"

"No."

"Are you hiding something?"

"Yes." What?!

"Okay Ana your up next," Cal said, smirking I was done for. "Am I an uncle?" what question is that. "Yes." he nodded. "Do you have more than two kids." I froze before mumbling a quick, "Yes." I rubbed my tattoo out of habit, Cal noticed and asked, "Does it have to do with the tattoo?"

"Yes."

"Is it Ezras?"

"No, and it's her not it." He raised his hands.

"Can I meet her?" I froze before sighing, "Sadly no." He laughed and I looked at him confused, "You're probably a whore I bet her father has custody over her." I looked at him angrily. "Actilly it's none of yourconsern, but she's gone. She died when she was four." I whispered causing him to look at me confused, "B-but then -w-why-" I interrupted him, "She died when I was fourteen, strangled to death by her own father, my abuser!" I yelled before storming away. "Shit!" I heard him yell but I kept moving to the gym where I hit the punching bag over and over again before I pulled a blade out and placed it on my wrist. I needed to feel something. "ANNIE!" I froze looking at my wrist before chucking the knife, what was I about to do. I can't brethe. "E-Ez-ra," I struggled to say. He was beside me in a second placing my shaking hand on his heart as I tried to follow his breathing eventually calming down.

"Why Annie?" Ezra asked, breaking the silence.

"I wasn't thinking, there was so much pain. I-I just wanted to feel something," I whispered, playing with my fingers. His finger hooked under my chin forcing me to look at him, "The next time you want to feel something come to me," he spoke softly, voice full of emotions before he kissed me, fireworks. One kiss from him made me feel alive, it was addicting. We broke apart, before I said, "Okay deal." And with that we were kissing again, only breaking apart to suck in greedy breaths of air before our mouths were glued together again.

We stayed wrapped in each other's arms for hours just breathing. "The twins told me about the abuse," Ezra whispered quietly. I turned over to face him to find his eyes filled with tears, "I-I didn't know." The dam broke and tears flowed from his beautiful green eyes. "Hey baby, look at me what happened is not your fault. You thought that you were keeping them safe. It is not your fault." I punctuated, he nodded at me before cutting further into my chest, mumbling incoherent words before his soft snores caused me to dose off into once happy dreams.