I'll Follow You Into The Dark {Completed/Being Edited}

Chapter 35 ...The Time For Sleep Is Now, It's Nothing To Cry About

CARTMAN'S GOODBYE:

STAN POV:

I couldn't help but wonder why Cartman was here. Did he really care about me? I gulped and I watched Cartman enter the room. The carefully tiptoed over, it was as if he was scared of hurting me, even thought he walk just walking up to my death bed. 

I precisely watched the way that he couldn't look he in the eye. He looked like he had been crying. But then again I thought to myself Did he really care about me? I still didn't say anything, and the room was silent. The only thing I could here was my soft breathing and whirring of the Bypass machine next to me. 

When Cartman finally managed to reach my bedside, he still couldn't manage a word. He kept opening his mouth and then closing it, like he wanted to say something. 

"Cartman-" I began, before Eric Cartman interrupted me by slamming his body into mine he leaned over, wrapped him arms around my tall slender frame and held me close to his chest. My eyes went wide in surprise and body felt limp. But I soon closed my eyes and melted into the hug, hugging his back. 

I felt Cartman's body heaving itself and his chest vibrated. Was Eric Cartman crying? I curiously opened my eyes and felt and warm wetness present itself on my shoulder. Eric Cartman was crying. he was crying. 

"Cartman-" I tried to begin again, but once again he interrupted me by jumping back from the hug, violently. 

He rubbed him eyes and wiped his nose with his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Stan. I'm so so sorry" he sobbed harder and looked down, trying to cry silently. 

I felt tears slowly petrify my eyes and my vision but I blinked and looked away, I can't cry. "What are you sorry for?" I asked him. 

"Everything. For being such a dick to you. For ripping on you because your gay. Calling you a hippie or a fag. I'm sorry" he explained, his voice droning off. From this moment on, I wasn't watching Cartman I was listening to the sound his voice made. The way his pitch changed to higher when he was sad or crying. And I thought, I'm never going to hear that sound, ever again. 

"Cartman it's okay-" I tried to calm him down. But deep down inside I just wanted him to rant some more. 

"NO STAN! NOTHING IS FINE! DON'T YOU GET IT! YOUR DEAD!" He yelled, screaming his lungs out. Breathing hard he finally took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He closed him eyes, and stood there, with a closed eyed thing staring at nothingness. 

"Whenever I have had a crush on Wendy, Kenny, Kyle or even now, Butters. It was the little things. Your name popping up on a conversation or on my texts, it made me feel happy. It's like I don't know if I loved you, or even had a crush on you. It was just, I always felt like you were my savior, that you would always be there. The sound of your voice taking charge let me know, everything is going to be alright, Stan has this. But, I'm never to feel that way... I'm never going to feel..." then he burst into another fit of sobbing. 

I reached out and gently grabbed his wrist, pulling him close to me, pulling him into a hug. "Feel... saved" he finally finished. 

"Shh, it's okay... It's okay" I whispered.

 "It's... okay..."

It's okay.