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ʜᴏᴍᴇ
laying on the couch, staring at the phone, contemplating to phone dallas
it had been two weeks, nobody had seen dally in town, not even soda or steve. his room at bucks was untouched, the bedsheets stayed on the bed, his pack of cigarettes still in the same spot every time I went to go see if he was there
my heart ached from unbelievable pain, like he really meant the world
this is what i wanted, free from new york , my name in the paper, photos of me kissing a boy
but i only wanted those things because i was desperate, wanted myself to able to run through the streets of new york without another snap or glimpse of my body
my aunt knew about the whole magazine situation, she knew but never wanted to bring it up until the night of our break up
she saw me sadness and pain, she consulted me. she was disappointed i never mentioned a word to her and she found out on her own, but she was proud of how strong i was in it
kathy and her were my only support, kathy supported me with dallas and my aunt with the magazines
my teeth sunk into my skin, getting more desperate to dial bucks number just to ask for dally
grabbing the phone, pressing against my ear. my hands dial the numbers, each dial making me more nervous by a second
ring ring
my heart slipped beats, hearing the rings constantly playing
soon enough, a heard a voice through the line
it wasn't bucks raspy strong country accent or dally's thick new york accent
but a fierce and strong tone, someone i knew who i hated
"hey, this is sylvia"
my heart sank, fearing to speak with her. my breath grew unsteady. "its angelica..."
i could feel the disgust and annoyance sylvia now had, she despite myself, she hated the sight of me
by surprise, sylvia didn't go off my remained calm. "angelica, could i meet you at the diner at five?"
"uh..." i first was hesitated, not for sure why she needed to see me. "sure is there something wrong?"
"no angelica, it's about dally"
d i n e r
our heads down, the only between us now wasn't a man but two cokes, one cherry and non
she fiddled with the ends of her blonde hair, chewing bubble gum. her rings clinging against her necklace
my eyes soften, worried. the black curls in my hair draped down to my waist, my eyes less puffy and swollen from the crying. the ends of my sweater falling onto my demin shorts
"angelica..." sylvia finally spoke up. "listen, dally really loved you, he does. it was so shitty for me always trying to ruined your relationship with him"
i felt touched by her words, but knew it was wrong. "sylvia really, i appreciate your words but this time is all my fault, i'm the reason why we're done" my lips pressed against together, "i haven't seen him weeks, he must hate me"
"dally is hiding from the fuzz" sylvia explained. "the cops looked at the photos with you and him, realizing it was him. they showed up at bucks a couple weeks ago, wanting dally in cuffs. i saw it up the stairs when i was about to come down for my shift. i was hiding because the cops didn't know bucks was a underage bar, but i still stayed close to listen. dal must of known, because the second i tried to open his door, he was out of the window"
oh my god i almost chocked on my coke, now worried and in fear
"i-its all my fault..." i cried, close to tears and fear
"angelica no" she sighed. "dally is a criminal, he always is on the run, believe me. he's doing this for you, dally only hid from the fuzz when we were together for himself. but he's hiding for you"
my mouth remained silent, playing with my my straw. not being able to believe her words
"sylvia dally didn't love me" i expressed, sighing. "if he did, dally wouldn't mess up our relationship so many times"
"angelica he does!" sylvia argued. "angelica! that fucking man of yours when he almost had sex with me, he really thought it was you" she paused. "i feel like a piece of shit to admit to it but dally was really drunk. he thought i was you, i played along since i hated the fact of that bastard loving you..."
i didn't help to realized what dal really meant to her, she felt insecure knowing someone like him could drop her so easily. sylvia felt embarrassed, so she knew she had to act fast and played around with him to make herself feel more higher
"god if someone sees me with you they're going to get the word out to dallas" sylvia grabbed her purse, putting a couple of dimes on the table. "nice talking to you angelica, i hope you and him work out"
the tone she said those last words weren't in a jealous, nasty, and disrespectful manner but genuine
