What are we?

14

Jeongyeon stormed inside their bedroom, slamming the door with a bang that rattled the picture frames on the wall. Her eyes blazed with a fury that startled even the usually unflappable Mina. "Mina! What the hell?" she spat, her voice tight with barely contained anger. "Why is this idiot, Bambam, blabbering to everyone that you are his girlfriend?" Jeongyeon shoved her phone in Mina's face, the screen displaying a group chat with a picture of a grinning Bambam with his arm slung possessively around Mina's shoulders.

Mina couldn't help but roll her eyes, the cynical gesture a stark contrast to the turmoil churning inside her. Why was Jeongyeon even mad? When Mina was the one left with a gaping hole in her chest, a hollowness Jeongyeon's careless actions had carved. But of course, Jeongyeon wouldn't understand. She wouldn't understand the sting of rejection, the silent ache of unspoken feelings. 

"I like him, he likes me," Mina stated, her voice devoid of emotion, a stark contrast to the storm brewing within. It was a lie, a carefully constructed defense. Sure, Bambam was cute and fun to be around, but his charm didn't reach the desolate wasteland her heart had become after Jeongyeon. The kiss they'd shared had been a fleeting moment of curiosity, a desperate attempt to feel something, anything, other than the crushing weight of Jeongyeon's absence. At least, with Bambam, there was a distraction, a way to temporarily numb the throbbing pain.

Jeongyeon's eyes narrowed, incredulity replacing the initial anger. "Are you serious, Mina?" she scoffed, a disbelieving laugh escaping her lips. "You barely even know the guy!" The sound of Jeongyeon's voice, laced with disbelief and a hint of… was that hurt?  It sent a fresh wave of anger crashing through Mina, a bitter counterpoint to the hollowness.

"Apparently, I know him well enough to like him," Mina retorted, her voice hardening.

Jeongyeon wanted to scream. She wanted to tear down the walls, both literal and metaphorical, that separated them. She was a coward, a fool for not letting Nayeon go, even if she's already falling for Mina, and now the Japanese girl was with someone else. The audacity of it all! Blinded by her own selfish desires, she'd thought she could have it all – Nayeon's companionship, Mina's unwavering loyalty. Now, reality was biting her back, its taste bitter and unforgiving.

"Why are you so angry about it?" Mina pressed, her voice a hair's breadth from breaking. "I'm old enough to make that decision." The words tasted like ash in her mouth.

The anger Jeongyeon felt morphed into a suffocating wave of guilt. "I'm just... protecting you," she lied, the words heavy on her tongue. It wasn't entirely a lie. There was a part of her that genuinely feared for Mina, feared she was making a mistake. But the bigger truth, the truth that choked her heart, was that Mina's feelings for someone else ignited a jealousy she couldn't suppress.

"I'm not a little kid anymore." Mina uttered. She made that decision, it was a harsh decision and now here she is. Apparently she got herself a boyfriend, but is it better? Obviously not. That impulsive decision brought her into this mess, and it makes her head hurt, but she can't back down now, could she?

Jeongyeon clicked her tongue, a nervous tick that betrayed her growing despair. Each passing second in this suffocating silence felt like an eternity. She clenched her jaw, the physical manifestation of her emotional turmoil. Selfish, so selfish, she had been. And now, she was paying the price. Her heart shattered into a million pieces, but the shards were her own doing, and she knew it.

-

"Mina! Mina!" Jihyo's voice cut through the morning bustle like a knife through butter. Mina turned, a smile plastered on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. Jihyo, ever the observant one, noticed the slight hitch in her breath, the way her smile faltered for a second.