The accomplishment of light

16

    "I'll carry her"
   
    I bite back my own tears, I knew this would happen if she got pregnant. I had seen her not have a successful pregnancy for years, until then she needs to stay on contraception but she died, she came back to life. I got distracted and I failed her and I failed our little baby that never had a chance. This was on me and for the rest of my life I'll regret not doing right by her.
   
    I lay her on the bed and sit beside her, she curls into my body as the doctor goes to take her dress off and replace it with a gown, I glare at her and snatch it from her hand
   
    "Turn around"
   
    Her eyes widen as she steps back baring her neck
   
    "Sorry alpha"
   
    She whispers, but does what she's told and turns. I help Carly take the dress off as she silently cries, I dress her and help her into what I can only describe as an adult size nappy. When she's dressed the doctor pulls a machine over and fiddles with it then she looks to Carly
   
    "Can you lift your top Luna"
   
    I do it for her, Carly just lays there silently crying and clinging to my hand. They pushed it against her stomach and Carly gasped, I growl
   
    "Careful"
   
    I snap and she nods, a bead of sweat ran down her forehead. My aura was out and I couldn't pull it back in. Not when she's in pain, not when our baby is dying.
   
    "Sorry Luna"
   
    She pulls the machine closer, I watch the screen as she moves the scanner around her belly stopping over her womb. My heart shatters
   
    "I'm afraid your suspicions are correct, you are having a miscarriage. The fetus—"
   
    "The baby"
   
    Carly said through gritted teeth
   
    "Sorry the baby has no heartbeat, usually you would continue to bleed for a few days but the Luna can hurry the process along and you will heal within the hour"
   
    Carly breaks into a sob, pulling herself up, I help her as she climbs on my knee and she cries into my shoulder. I hold her as her heart breaks. I felt like a damn failure. I let her down. She is going to hate me so much when she realises I could have stopped this, she will hate me like I hate me, why did I not think of contraceptives?
   
    I was just so damn happy to get her home and have her alive that all thoughts of everything else went out the window. I can't help it as my own tears fall on her shoulder.
   
    "I'm so sorry"
   
    I whisper before my chest feels like it was kicked by a bull and I weep into her shoulder
   
    "This isn't your fault, I should have seen it"
   
    "But I did Carly, but I was so happy to get you home and alive that I forgot about you not having the bar in your arm. I forgot and now I subjected you to heartbreak and I failed you. I'm so sorry"
   
    She pulls back wiping my face with her hands
   
    "I never want to hear such shite spouted from your gob again! You didn't do this! I didn't do this! It was the witches that did this? They poisoned my body and killed me. I traveled to a completely different realm. I don't know why I know this but I know why this didn't work. My body went through changes when I went to heaven and back, it will take a while for my body to adjust, I will have a baby but not for years. I didn't do this, you didn't do this, god didn't do this, the witches did this, they made a choice to kill me and they succeeded but I was given another chance and they blessed me with something. I'm not sure what it is but it means I won't ever be able to go back there, not even to visit. They gave me the choice and I took it, because of it now it will take a special soul to be born by our blood and that will take years. We just need to wait for it"
   
    ''She's so pure it terrifies me''
   
    Cain mumbles
   
    ''Yeah I know, but what a privilege it is to have her as ours for forever''
   
    I answer him as I look at her adoring face, she was a creation all of her own, her own species of pure special entity, one that held so much light she could energise the world.
   
    "You astound me every day Mrs Mcgregor. I have seen her too"
   
    She smiles at me, I can see the pain in her eyes, feel it in her heart but still she has hope and I can see that too, but I only see it because she sees it, I can only grasp it because she made it possible. She is incredible.
   
    "And an angel she will be"
   
    She whispers, I can feel her go into the vision, watch her replay it in her head over and over again, excitement building up in her belly
   
    "She does possess the same glow that her mother has"
   
    I answer, running my finger over her bottom lip.
   
    "I still feel like a failure"
   
    She whispers, I shake my head and kiss her lips softly, resting my forehead on hers
   
    "Please don't, please never feel like that. For now we have each other, we can't feel bad for something we can not change"
   
    She nods her head and lays against my chest as mum opens the door, dads standing behind her, I pull a blanket over her annoyed that they didn't knock.
   
    "Hey baby"
   
    Mum walks up to us and she kisses her head, then mine.
   
    "How do you feel?"
   
    "Sore"
   
    She answers honestly, readjusting on my knee to look more normal for our parents but she was in pain and I didn't care what she looked like, so I pull her back onto my knee and hold her against me.
   
    "Do you want me to hurry the process along?"
   
    Mum whispers watching us
   
    "Yes please"
   
    Mum nods tears in her eyes
   
    "It's probably best if you lay down"
   
    She shakes her head
   
    "No I want to stay with Carter"
   
    "Why don't I lay with you?"
   
    She starts to sob again so I lay her down and hold her. I kiss every square inch of her perfect perfect face.
   
    "I love you so much"
   
    I tell her as I run my hand down her cheek. She keeps her eyes on me as mum touches her
   
    "This will hurt a little, I will try and take as much of the pain as possible but it slows things down"
   
    "Don't, don't take the pain. I need to feel it. If the baby felt pain so should I"
   
    She sobs into my hand kissing the palm. Dads walk in to either side of her
   
    "Babe I don't think it felt any pain and you shouldn't have to feel any either"
   
    Carly glares at him
   
    "You don't know that. It may only be 6-8 weeks in human form but it still had a heartbeat, it still had nerves. So please I need to remember this, I never want to forget why it died. I want to look those witches in the eye and know why I am killing them"
   
    I kiss her head and hold her tight, she meant every word of what she said but if she was going to feel it I would feel it to. I grab her hand and pull on my power, my black veins spread throughout my body and down my arm to my hand
   
    "Together"
   
    Her eyes water as her white veins appear and meet mine
   
    "Together"