The Mafia's Princess

Chapter 5

I wake up panicked my breathing heavy body shaking sweat dripping down me. Stupid nightmare. I run a hand through my hair as I get up and go to my bathroom washing my face. It was just a nightmare it wasn't real. I jump as I hear a knocking on my door. 
"Just a second" I say. I quickly redo my concealer and walk out to my door. I open it to see Dante 
"Dinner" he says coldly and starts to walk away. I quickly follow him because I don't know where to go. 

We walk down the hallway and down the stairs take a left and then we are in the dining room. I walk in and sit next to Antonio as it's the only spare seat apart from the one at the head of the table but I'm not gain enough to sit there because the attention would be on me which I hate. 
"Perché sembra così pallida?" Carlo asks (why does she look so pale?). that would be from nightmares. Oh the joys. I like how nobody asked if I could speak any languages they just assumed I couldn't. 

I can speak 4 excluding english. I can speak Italian, Russian, Chinese, and German. I'm currently learning Greek because why not. When I'm older I want to travel so I need to learn languages. 
"Non lo so" Dante says (I don't know) 
"beh, l'hai presa" Luca says (Well you got her). I like how they are just talking about me like I'm not even here. 
"Che ne dici di chiederglielo?" (How about you just ask her) Antonio suggest. No. Please no. 
"Why are you pale?" Xavier asks me. I shrug 
"I don't know" I lie. 
"Why are you lying?" Carlo asks pissed. How did he know? Everyone has their eyes on me. Oh snap. 
"I don't know I just woke up" I half lie. I did just wake up and I'm pale from nightmares soooo yeah. A few seconds later a really tall person who looks a lot like me walks in. He has grey eyes like me and brown hair like me.

 Where do these people get their tallness from? I want it. Why am I so short? Honestly I don't know but whatever the reason is I'm pissed at my genes for making me short. 
"I'm Alessandro" the dude tells me. I worked that out 
"I'm Luna" I smile. 
"No shit" Rocco mutters under his breath. I just ignore that. Soon everyone starts eating. I first seperate my food so it's not touching because it cannot touch at all I hate the idea then I just pick at it. I don't eat much perks of being starved for your life. I eat about a quarter of the food and just sit there silently. 

Why do they even want me to have dinner with them? Why am I even here? Why do I exist? I feel eyes on me so I look up to see everyone staring at me. Ummmm what did I do?
"Why aren't you eating?" Antonio asks 
"I did" I say slightly confused 
"More" Alessandro says coldly.
"I'm full" I say. Everything falls silent as they stare at me. What did I do? Did I say something wrong? 
"You've hardly eaten" Antonio says I shrug. I ate something. I know I'm going to throw it up later I'm too fat. "Your a twig you need to eat" he says. How am I a twig? 
"I'm full" I say. How do I get out of here? 

"probabilmente è anoressia" Raffaele says (she's probably anorexia). If only he knew how true that is.
"Sii gentile o tieni i tuoi commenti per te" (be nice or keep your comments to yourself) Antonio says sternly 
"Guardala, è un ramoscello e difficilmente mangia" Raffaele says (look at her she's a twig and hardly eats). Wow you are really boosting my self esteem. Why can't I just be normal and eat normally? Now they hate me even more. Who doesn't hate me at this point? Why am I even alive? Death would be easier. I wouldn't harm anyone, I wouldn't annoy anyone, nobody would be mad, it would just be easier for me and for everyone. How do I get out of this dinner? I have no social skills so what do I do? I can't even say I'm tired because I just slept even though it was a shit sleep I still slept. I guess I'll just have to stay here and listen as they talk about me without knowing I understand them. 

"So, what do you like to do?" Antonio asks me snapping me out of my thoughts 
"Read and listen to music" I say 
"Nerd" Carlo mutters. If only he knew the books I read. Dark romance just has a particular draw to me but ok I'm a nerd. 
"What type of music?" Antonio asks. How do I answer that? it can range from depressing to club music. 
"A range of music but not opera can't stand that" I say. Opera sucks. 
"Fair" Antonio says. Now what? Do I ask questions? I guess
"What do you guys like to do?" I ask. 
"Read" Antonio says 
"what type of books?" I ask 
"Medical" He says. Nope 
"Doctor?" I ask 
"yep" he grins I nod. 
"I like cars" Carlo says annoyed 
"Me too" I grin. "Although I like bikes more they just have an element of danger adding to the adrenalin and I don't mind an adrenaline rush" I smile he just rolls his eyes at me. Ok I tried. 

"Xavier likes bikes" Antonio says I look at Xavier who scowls. Why does nobody like me? "andiamo ragazzi, parlatele e basta" (come on guys just talk to her) Antonio says. 
"no" they say. 
"It's fine you can't force people to talk to me" I say to Antonio. Eyes snap to me 
"You speak Italian?" He asks 
"Fluently" I say. Everything falls silent "I'm going to my room thanks for dinner" I say getting up and going to my room. I just shut my door and let the tears flow out of my eyes. Why can't anyone like me? I go to my bathroom shut and lock the door. 

I strip out of my clothes and grab my blade cutting my wrist over and over again the familiar sting providing comfort in my fucked up life. I watch the blood run down my hand and into a small pool on the floor. I take the blade to my shoulder and glide it along my skin with a lot of pressure the blade digs into my skin over and over as I cut over and over till my hands are covered in blood. Fuck. I put the blade back after washing it and get in the shower. I let the hot water run down my body as my cuts sting. I wash my body and get out drying myself. Then I change into sweats and a hoodie my pj's. 

I walk out and go to my balcony and stare out at the grass that looks dark due to it being night. Why doesn't anyone like me? I have no friends and my own family can't even like me. I can't tell if I should just die or wait three years and move out and leave everything. Honestly death sounds better because three years of hell doesn't sound fun. That's what my life is. Hell. Honestly everything hurts physically and mentally. I wish it didn't but it does and I can't do anything about it but die. If I die it would be easier for everyone including myself. It's not like anyone would even know if I died. 

"Luna" I hear a voice call out. I jump from the unexpected noise and turn back with a smile. I see Alessandro 
"Hey" I smile he keeps an emotionless face 
"I just came to give you rules" he says I nod a smile still on my face "1. No boys ever 2. Bed at 10 3. Do well in school 4. No swearing including music 5. Ask to go somewhere 6. Tell us where you are going and with who 7. No lying 8. Verbal answers 9. Respect everyone 10. Listen to everyone without arguments 11. No skipping classes at school 12. Don't go on the fourth floor 13. No parties 14. No alcohol 15. No drugs 16. No vaping or smoking 17. No backchat 18. No fighting 19. No spray painting or doing anything illegal 20. Don't argue. Am I clear?" He says coldly. 

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Dam those are a lot of rules. So, what do we think of the brothers now? So mean to her though except Antonio(for now) yeah so ummm depressing chapter ngl but yeah she hides her demons well. Hope you enjoyed 

-S