Despite the cruel world she had a smile on her face-no matter how fake. She was kind and polite and never swore. But what happens when her step-father dies her abuser her rapist dies in a car accident? What happens when she finds out she has nine br...
"What's going on Luna?" Emma asks me softly "he promised me" I say angrily "What else?" she asks "We always get ice cream before never after always before" I say angrily she smiles "So a change in routine?" she asks I nod "How do you feel about that?" She asks "I don't like it" I say "it's different and I hate it" I say pissed "Here" she hands me a fidget toy. I play with it "How do you feel your meds are working?" She asks "I don't know. I want to up my mood stabilisers, antidepressants, the anxiety stuff, and I want hospital level sleeping pills" I say agitated she nods writing stuff down "What else? How was school?" She asks "I hate it. there were so many people and they were talking about me behind my back I stood up to the ones at first break but in one of my classes they were talking about me telling me to kill myself" I say feeling a pain in my heart she looks at me softly "And how do you feel about that?" she asks "Kinda debating doing it" I say a tear falling out of my eye "Why?" she asks "What's the point in living? I piss everyone off it would be easier if I was dead I'm a lost cause you are wasting your time my family is wasting their time I have no friends and the people I thought were my friends, my stalkers, kissed other girls in front of me even when we kissed. I'm alone I have nobody. My family all have their people they all have at least one they get along with really well and I'm the black sheep even with my aunts, uncles, and grandparents. My grandparents have each other and my aunts and uncles have each other. They are all so in love it's weird. I never believed in love even as a child I wasn't that foolish. Love is stupid. What's the point if you just get hurt? What's the point of risking your heart? Your better off risking your life than your heart because if you break your heart your doomed at least if you risk your life you have a chance of survival" I explain she looks at me softly "You do have a purpose in life you just have to find it. Let's talk about your future" she says "A grave" I say flatly she shakes her head at me "What do you want to be?" she asks "A tattooist, an assassin, child psychologist that specialises in depression, anxiety, ptsd, bpd, and autism" I say "Really? That's an amazing goal" she says "I won't achieve it. I don't have the grades to get into Uni and when I tried to study I just worked myself into exhaustion I was banned from studying" I say flatly "did you ask your family for help?" she asks "I'm too much of a burden already" I say "Your not" she says softly "Oh but I am" I say "I cause too much trouble and am not worth anything" I say "Everyone's going to leave me and there is nothing I can do about it" I say "And what if they aren't going to leave?" she asks "even I would leave myself" I say "One day you and Skyla are going to decide this kid is fucking nuts your going to give me so many pills and then just leave than everyone else is going to leave" I say "When's your next session with Skyla?" she asks "After this one" I say she nods "and we aren't going to leave you. We may not be able to fix all the damage but we plan to make it easier for you" she says softly "There is no easy way I have the worst possible disorder ever. Have you googled bpd? Bpd is the hardest mental illness to live with. There is no helping me I'm stuck in a fucked up cycle because of fucking trauma that altered my brain to the point of a disorder that I am stuck with for life" I say angrily. She stares at me softly "You've had a rough day" she says softly "or life take your pick" I say she smiles softly "How about we do some drawing?" She asks "do you like drawing?" she asks "I do but I don't like people looking at my drawings" I say "Fair enough" She says "I won't look" she says "I still don't trust you" I say "That is valid" she says I just nod. she hands me some paper and we sit on the floor leaning against the table and start drawing.
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