Poem #105

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I'd like to think my life no longer revolves around you. That I've scrubbed ever cell of you off my body, off my soul. That your spot at the kitchen table is no longer yours. But I still sit across from it even though I could sit anywhere. I still look up hoping to see you just staring. In my bed as a teen that I used to sleep in the middle of. Until you came along. I still can't find myself able to sleep in the middle it's been a year. The indent your body made on my bed is still there. I wake up sometimes thinking you've just went to the bathroom. I slowly shifted my existence for you. Slowly made my life revolve around you. I'd like to think it no longer does. But when I hear about the hockey team it's still your team. When I hear two cream it's still your coffee order. Blues eyes are still your eyes. I can't look in them without thinking of you. Orange cats are still your cats. My existence is still yours I don't know how to change that.

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