The live's I've lived

Poem #194

I'd be lying if I said, I wasn't hoping you'd show up to my door and tell me not to leave. I'd be lying If I said the small talk, we had in the grocery store didn't rip me in half. I told you about New York. you told me you're still with her. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't spend most of the time in the airport looking for you. Waiting for you to tell me that you love me. Instead, I hugged my mother and said goodbye to my family. Instead, I got on a plane that took me away. I wish you showed up but instead I sit on the beach in New York and write this. The loudness of the people drowns out the future I thought I had with you. The quickness of it all makes me forget about the slowness of the fall. My roommate knows everything about you. We go to the farmers market and buy fresh fruit. They fill me more than you do. I go for walks in the city with headphones on, and almost forget your name. I dance in the rain and talk to random strangers in a café. Some of the boys I meet are daunting some of them make me think you're no longer the one. I watch people walk their dogs and realize that is love. I read books in random parks and slow dance with strangers in bars. I scream music at the top of my lungs. I fall in love with strangers on the street. Thank you for allowing me to leave.