I cut myself on your sharp edges just to distract myself. I knew you were trouble the first second I laid my eyes on you. But I wanted it. I wasn't in love with you I was using you. Using you to create other pain. I looked forward to you ruining me more. I dug the grave I laid in it. I just needed someone to bury me in it. I let you in not because I wanted you but because I needed to distract myself. You were a different form of self harm. I knew you would ruin me so I jumped in head first. I allowed you to cause me pain to distract myself from all my thoughts. I allowed you to use me too. I became obsessed with you my thoughts became why isn't he texting me back. And no longer thoughts of the way my world is collapsing. I wanted you to ruin me more, I wanted you to push me even farther in the hole. I wanted someone to blame other than myself. I wanted you to kick me while I was already down. I wanted you to hate me, almost as much as I hate myself. I wanted more pain that way I had an excuse for still being down.
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The live's I've lived
PoetryThis is a collection of poems and pieces of writing. That I have written over the last 2 years of my life. I've never been one to actually live. To take the risk. A lot of the things I have written are about things that have happened in my head. Or...
