Jimin Protectors ' Book 1 '

Chapter 117 '✅'

IU's POV:

I could hear his heavy sobs. My heart hurt with each sound he made. I was still waiting in front of his room, crying as much as he was.

This was the first time I heard his story from his own mouth - the details, the faces that hurt him, the people he lost. I knew he went through hard times, but this was hell. How many times did this innocent soul have to deal with the cruelty of this world?

Each one of us knew what it felt like to lose parents. Some of us had parents who gave us away. We all knew how deeply it hurt. We all had our own time to grieve our loss. He didn't. He had to deal with much worse pain right after he lost his parents. I couldn't remember him ever talking about them. It was the first time I heard him talk about them, and that was with the doctor today. I could feel the weight of the pain in his eyes. I wished I could carry all this pain away from him.

His sobs seemed closer than they were a while ago.

IU: "Jiminie... can you hear me?" I whispered to the door, touching the surface of the wood as if I was touching my little boy.

Jimin: "I'm... I'm scared, Omma." His voice was barely audible. I wiped my tears and put both palms on the door, still crouching on my knees.

IU: "I know, Jiminie. I know. But I swear I'm here. You are not alone. Let me in. I won't leave you."

Jimin: "I'm so... sorry, Omma. I'm sorry." He was shaking. I needed to be there with him. Why was he sorry?

IU: "Jiminie! Why are you apologizing? You didn't hurt yourself, right? Baby, please tell me you are fine. Talk to me. Please open the door. I won't touch you. Just let me see your face." He stayed quiet for a while. I thought he ignored me when I heard the door knob move and the door opened, showing my broken son. I held all my strength to stop myself from pulling him into my arms.

I checked him to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

Jimin: "I swear... I'm so grateful for you... that... that you accept me. But I'm sorry that I miss my mother so much. I need her." This time he was the one who threw himself into my arms. My 8-month pregnant stomach didn't leave enough space for him in my embrace, but I wrapped my arms around him to give him the warmth he needed.

IU: "You have nothing to be sorry for, Jiminie. You have every right to grieve your parents' death. No one can replace them. It doesn't mean you don't love me. You don't need to explain anything. Cry as much as you want. Miss her here in my arms. Don't push me away, baby. Feel the sadness you need here. I will protect you."

We were on the floor. He buried his head on my chest, crying his heart out. I just let him release all the pain he held in all these years.

He pushed us away, afraid that he had no right to grieve his parents' death with us. But he couldn't handle this alone. It seemed like he was living all the traumatic events again all at once.

He wasn't tense with my touch now. My heart broke the moment he did in the car. It was the first time he felt this way with me. My mind wouldn't stop racing with thoughts about what this meant.

I could see Yoongi in the corner of my eyes, sitting on the stairs, crying silently. He couldn't leave either, but he was trying to give Jimin the space he needed.

***

Jimin's POV:

I felt my chest start to tighten. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know if I should believe this or not, but I needed IU Mom now. She could take some of this weight off my chest. Could I be this selfish and cry in her arms for my real mother?

I dragged my body to the door where I could still hear her soft crying. She didn't leave. When I sat behind the door, I heard her calling me.

IU: "Jiminie... can you hear me?" My heart raced when I heard her calling me. I felt my locked room start to suffocate me. Even though the light was on, I could feel the darkness creeping in to surround me.

Jimin: "I'm... I'm scared, Omma." All the braveness that made me lock myself here disappeared, and I wanted to escape. But I was stuck here in my body. It wouldn't let me touch anyone. I was scared of myself.

IU: "I know, Jiminie. I know. But I swear I'm here. You are not alone. Let me in. I won't leave you." Her voice kept pulling me out of this darkness. I wanted to be in her arms now. I wanted to feel safe again. But did I have the right after what I felt now?

Jimin: "I'm so... sorry, Omma. I'm sorry." I needed her to forgive me for what I felt now. She gave me everything, but I was here grieving my parents.

IU: "Jiminie! Why are you apologizing? You didn't hurt yourself, right? Baby, please tell me you are fine. Talk to me. Please open the door. I won't touch you. Just let me see your face." She panicked when I apologized to her. I felt I could open the door when she promised she wouldn't touch me. It made me feel that I had control over this. No one was going to make a move I didn't want.

She was on the floor and started to check if I hurt myself the moment her eyes landed on me.

I threw myself into her arms, hugging her with my little brother in her stomach. I knew he could hear me too.

Her words gave me the sign that I had the right to be sad in her arms, even if I was sad for losing my parents. She gave me the sign that let all the pain out of my chest. I cried for hours. I felt all this pain was like a flood, and my tears made it less and less.