pluto ; jungjoo

20.

it was so late, too late to be going out for whatever reason, but there jooyeon was, walking down the street, god knew where, with tears now dried to his cheeks and eyes still red from crying so much.

he thought it would be the best to go and look for jungsu. he had no clue where to go and try to search for him, so he just let his feet take him wherever. he just couldn't sit home and wait for him there.

after crying so much in hyeongjun's arms, he went home because the elder told him it would be the best if he rested his mind after everything that had happened that day. jooyeon found his statemwnt valid, he knew he had to rest after being wrecked emotionally like that, but the moment he got home he just couldn't stay there.

it was weirdly quiet. not like jungsu talked much on phone or anything ever for him to be expecting to be noisy in the house, but the fact that he was greeted with total silence and uncomfortable emptiness, just didn't sit well with him at all. he felt like throwing up, realizing that the house was being back to its usual, horribly silent self, just as it was after his mother passed away.

jooyeon hated being home alone, especially now that he got so much used to having jungsu around. he never wanted to even think about the elder moving away and now being hit with this, just scared him so much. what if jungsu was really not coming back ever.

just the thought of it made jooyeon feel so sick in his stomach. that thought really made him realize how attached he was. that he really didn't want to spend even a single day without jungsu. he wanted to come home and see the elder, spend time with him. well, mostly, him and jungsu left home together and the elder sometimes came home later than him, because jooyeon's university ended earlier than the elder's work. sometimes, he would go to spend time with jungsu in the flower shop and the two came home together.

whatever it was, during this time he got so used to having jungsu around. always looking forward to spending time with him. now the fear washed all over him, he didn't want to even imagine, being home alone, knowing that jungsu wouldn't even be coming.

jooyeon hated feeling like this. for once he thought everything bad was over (again, with jungsu's help somehow), all those negative thoughts managed to vanish and even though finding a way home was harder than he had expected for it to be, jungsu managed to show him a bright side to everything, positive way of thinking and just the fact that everything could have been better.

now everything seemed to be slowly going back to like it was before he met jungsu. he couldn't lose him. jooyeon would understand, if the elder didn't return the feelings back, he thought that would be the first thing he told jungsu once he found him. it would be okay, he would learn to live with it for awhile and then start moving on.

because jooyeon had to admit, he liked the feeling of being in love. it was quite unfamiliar for him, since he felt these strong feelings towards someone for the first time ever and he thought it was just purely beautiful. honestly, he couldn't even explain why he thought so. even if it was one sided and jungsu never loved him back, he would still kind of be okay with it. he of course would be the happiest one alive if the elder loved him too, just like he did but if he didn't, he wouldn't be too upset or hurt because of it.

as weird as it sounded. because usually one would be devastated to know someone they loved so dearly didn't return the feelings back, but jooyeon didn't really think so, maybe just because it was jungsu and he could never be upset at him for anything ever.

even now, he couldn't bring himself to be mad at him. all he felt was how scared he was, because what if jungsu didn't want to be friends with him anymore and was going to leave. that was what jooyeon didn't want. something he could not accept. now that was something that would truly shatter his heart into millions of pieces.