pluto ; jungjoo

30.

jungsu had a lot to think about indeed and a perfect time for that was when he was alone, in the flower shop.

he made sure everything was perfect there, though it took him more time than it usually would. he was kind of was not focused, he couldn't seem to be. his mind wandering all over the place, making him lose concentration. well, thankfully he didn't break or damage anything. that would only add up to his already enough problems and that was the last thing he wanted.

after what felt like hours of working and stressing himself for particularly nothing, jungsu took a seat outside the flower shop, burying his face in his hands and let out a rather loud sigh.

now he could think about what happened last night, about jooyeon's words.

he loved the younger. he really did and that didn't even need to be questioned. he had loved him ever since, even before jooyeon would actually know that someone named jungsu existed. he loved him even before the two would meet.

and in the first place, they weren't meant to meet. jungsu was so glad it happened though. because it led him to where he was right now. with the younger telling him that he also had caught feelings.

and that was exactly what made jungsu doubt some things. not like he didn't believe jooyeon when he told him what he did, he trusted him a lot ⸺ with his own life even. but he knew, he shouldn't have given in this easily and should have thought about everything carefully.

the powers he possessed as a star were strong. very strong and he was well aware of the influence he had on jooyeon back then. that was the exact reason why the younger got so easily attached to him, he quickly got used to having jungsu around and it felt comfortable ever since because of the bond the two had and it was then hard for him to bear with the fact that jungsu would have to leave. that also was the reason why he was so devastated when he left. because he got so used to the happiness jungsu was naturally giving him when being with him.

so now when jooyeon told him how he felt, jungsu hesitated. if it wasn't for the fact that jungsu used to be a star, he would not even think twice and tell jooyeon how he felt the exact same thing towards him. but, again, he didn't, because he wanted to sort these thoughts in his head, recall what jooyeon said and how exactly, so that he was sure, the love he had for him wasn't created because of the power jungsu used to have and it wasn't artificial.

in fact, even if that was the case, jungsu was going to be okay. he assumed, it would go some way like this. they would start slowly dating and moving towards a relationship, then jooyeon would realize that he didn't really feel all that because it was something artificial, tell about it to jungsu and they would break up ⸺ either remain as friends or not.

jungsu was going to be okay with everything, except the last part. he wouldn't bear not being close to jooyeon. he wanted to have him close, didn't matter as a friend or not. and he knew for a fact, that if they started dating and it didn't work out, they would grow distant from each other, obviously, become awkward and spend so little time together and that was exactly what he did not want for to happen.

remembering jooyeon's words, maybe the younger really did still love him, purely based on what he grew to feel and not because of the powers he had before. since well, really jooyeon put so much effort, when he didn't remember a single thing about him, after coming back on earth. he insisted on walking around together till late hours, talking about anything and everything and just spending more time together.

so, there really had to be something, right? something real, something he felt towards jungsu, not just because of the influence. because, why would he put so much in, if it was artificial. why would he sit there, explain in smallest details, how he felt about him. and honestly, to quote jooyeon's own words, why would he be sitting there that evening, in front of jungsu, confessing his feelings, if there was something, even a spark of it being not genuine.