pluto ; jungjoo

23.

it was too hard to believe, too hard to understand. jooyeon was still trying to process everything fully the next day, and the day after that too. these a few days were so weird, like something was so shifted, so off and jooyeon knew exactly what it was but at the same time he didn't.

it was so strange, the fact that he was living with his star all this time. talking to him literally, spending time with him, crying in his arms and opening up to him. back then, if you asked him, jooyeon would say this was all he wanted and needed in his life, to have his star by his side that could comfort him not just from up the sky but physically too. but now that it actually came true, he didn't really know how to feel about it.

not like it was bad in any way, it was just odd. he felt like he would have acted so differently if he knew from the start. nonetheless, he was not blaming jungsu for anything happening around. he could never.

these nights he spent thinking a little too much, realizing how hard everything must have been for jungsu. he probably could not even imagine how much of struggle it was for the elder to spend time here on earth when he didn't know how anything worked in human world. and now that his time was running out, how much pain he actually felt. it must have been terrible and jooyeon felt so bad that he was the reason behind it all.

he was the reason why jungsu had to come here and help him that way, it was because of him that he stayed here for so long, to the point that it became hard for him to even walk and if he didn't go home soon, he would literally die. the last thing jooyeon wanted was for him to be the reason of jungsu's death.

but at the same time, a small part him still couldn't grasp the fact that the elder had to leave. he didn't want for jungsu to leave. he didn't want to be left alone once again, he knew he had to let go, but he didn't know how to. he never knew that. not when his mother left, nor now. but back then, jungsu came here to help him find his way after losing his mother. who was going to come and help him after jungsu left too?

just the thought of it made him feel so bad, so miserable he held back the urge to scream so loudly. he didn't know what to do, he hated feeling that way. finally had a hope to get out of that terrible state, with jungsu's help, find his way and be on his way to finding his home, his safe place but now he was going back to his devastated self.

he hated being this attached to jungsu, they had known each other for months now, but still, how did jooyeon manage to fall in love and become this attached so easily. the answer was right there, right in front of him. of course he would feel attached to his star. even falling in love felt so valid, it was jungsu. he was just.. himself. the clumsy star on earth that jooyeon met so suddenly and took a second to let in his life.

it was so easy, so easy like that. so simple. jungsu was always so easy to love. like stars. made sense, a lot of sense to him.

jooyeon let out a loud sigh, leaning back in the couch as he closed his eyes. credits were rolling on tv, he didn't even bother to check what movie it was. he did put something on while trying to distract himself but it obviously was a miserable fail as jooyeon managed to think about anything and everything possible but concentrate on watching tv and understanding what was happening in the movie.

he wanted to spend time with jungsu. didn't matter what it would be, they could just sit in silence beside each other, cuddled up and he would still be more than thankful. doing nothing seemed so nice, just with jungsu. because he knew asking him on a date and going out with him was not an option. jungsu felt so weak, nothing helped to soothe the pain especially these last two or three days and jooyeon knew he would not be able to go out. the elder barely managed to get out of bed that morning. even now he was resting, probably sleeping, that was what jooyeon assumed.