It's Only Illegal If You Get Caught!

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Tenya couldn't sleep.

Not since Hisoka had been kidnapped. His engines had remained that devilish black that he was starting to despise all too much. He sighed, leaving his bed, only to hear a knock at his front door. He went over, opening it, o it to pause.

".... Midoriya?"

"Hi, Tenya!" Izuku said cheerfully, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Yaoyorozu behind him. "We have a plan to go and forcibly take back Hisoka and Kachaan, and.... We were hoping you would help?"

Tenya blinked.

".... Okay, on one condition though. My mother drives."

"Okay! I'm sure we'll all be completely safe!"

*Exactly ten minutes later....*

Izuku was gripping onto the side of the car for dear life, Todoroki having frozen himself to the seat. Kirishima wrapped the seatbelts around himself, hardening his body, and Momo created tape to keep herself strapped down. Tenya was in the passenger seat, his mother driving down the street at a surely illegal speed.

"Okay, according to the tracker on the nomu, we need to make a right." Tenya said calmly, appearing completely unbothered.

Katsumi Iida, the horrifying driver that she is, drifts around the next bend, causing them all (besides Tenya) to scream.

"Let me out the car!" Izuku yelled, tugging at the door.

Even using One For All, the door didn't budge.

"Don't worry!" Tenya said reassuringly. "This car has been in so many crashes, it's basically indestructible!"

.... Todoroki started to freeze himself to the seat more.

"LET US OUT!" Izuku pleaded.

"Shoot," Katsumi said, frowning. "I missed the last left. Hold on!"

The car drifted around another corner, Izuku wondering how this was the class representative.

.

Hisoka was never one to take a situation lightly. Having said that, she was a little bored with the villains.

"Let's try this again.... Join the League Of Villains. Society is holding you back from your true-"

Oh fuck this.

"You killed my mother," Hisoka interrupted, all the villains turning to her. "Bloodstone died, and it's all your fault! Why would I ever want to join your stupid group full of villains?!"

".... Dabi."

The fire villain smirked, approaching her.

"You really had to make this harder, didn't you?" He mocked, hands igniting into blue flames.

"Harder? Nope, not at all."

A dripping sound caught their attention. They all looked down, seeing blood dripping from her hands.

"I just needed you distracted long enough for me to slice my hands open."

Blood warped around her restraints, breaking them with a sharp motion. She then quickly freed Bakugo, the blonde exploding the hand off Shigaraki's face.

"Bout damn time!" He snarled, hands popping with explosions.

"Remember: murder is legal if it's self defense!" Hisoka said (all too happily, mind you).

The next few minutes were absolute chaos. As soon as the heroes charged in, Hisoka choked on something (and not in the good way either), and her and Bakugo were teleported outside.... Which is when they heard a car horn.

Not just any car horn, no, Hisoka knew that horn.

".... What the fuck?" Dabi mumbled, watching as a car drifted around the corner.

Tenya stuck his head out the window, yelling "Hisoka!"

".... Is that Four Eyes?" Bakugo questioned.

"I've come to rescue you, my love!" Tenya shouted.

Hisoka just stared in horror, because keep in mind, this was Tenya.

"We're gonna die." She said, watching as the car drove closer. "We're going to die, and it's not even the villain's faults."

Back in the car, Tenya turned to Momo, and politely said "Yaoyorozu, I greatly request that you provide me with a shotgun. Preferably a twelve gauge- why are you all looking st me like that?"

"You can use guns? Since when can you use guns?!" Izuku screeched.

"That depends," Katsumi said, looking over her shoulder. "Are any of you cops?"

Todoroki suddenly would rather bear Endeavor's torment than be in this car.

"Uhh.... What're you gonna do with that?" Kirishima questioned.

"Get back my girlfriend." Tenya calmly responded.

Then, Katsumi Iida revved the engine, and they all briefly saw God. The car sped at Hisoka and Bakugo, the two screaming. Tenya stuck his top half out the car, laughing chaotically as he held the shotgun, firing it at the villains.

"TRY AND STOP ME NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Tenya dragged the two into the car, humming to himself. Bakugo grabbed onto Kirishima, Hisoka staring at Tenya.

"Everyone in?" Katsumi asked sweetly.

"Tch. What're you all fucking so nervous for?! It's Four Eyes' mom! She's gonna be one of those safe ass drivers who follows the speed limit!" Bakugo snapped.

Then Katsumi started driving. Bakugo screamed, the woman drifting around debris and rubble with no problems whatsoever. Everyone (besides Tenya) held on for dear life.

"SLOW DOWN!" Hisoka pleaded.

"But then the cops will ask for my license!" Katsumi retorted. "If I get it suspended again, then It's gonna get cancelled, and then I need to get a new one- look, it's a whole process."

"LOOK OUT FOR THE PEDESTRIAN!" Izuku shrieked, Katsumi drifting around the person.

"He's walking through the road, he knows the risk he's taking!"

"DEKU! IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR LETTING ME GET IN THIS CAR!" Bakugo shouted.

"WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" Momo yelled.

"No we won't." Tenya said, completely calm.

Red and blue lights flashed behind them, Katsumi frowning.

"Damn. Alright, kids, hold onto your hats! It's only illegal if we get caught!"

She then proceeded to absolutely floor it, and they all screamed.

*Five minutes later....*

"I fucking hate you." Bakugo wheezed, stepping out the car shakily.

Kirishima quickly got out, lying on the ground.

"Is this a police station?" Tenya questioned.

"Yep! Which is where I leave you kids to it!" Katsumi said cheerfully. "Tenya, be home by eleven. Hisoka, be safe, and if your friends need therapy, call the agency. Let me know if any of you need a ride!"

The woman then drove off, the students all varying levels of relived.

".... So none of us are calling her unless it's life or death, right?" Hisoka asked.

"No." Momo immediately said.

"Fuck no!" Bakugo snapped.

"It's unmanly." Kirishima dismissed.

"I'm fifty percent sure my soul left my body." Midoriya said.

Todoroki put his hands together, saying "I would rather deal with Endeavor."

Tenya chuckled, saying "Was it that bad?"

"YES!"

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