after the death of her mother, leighton's father sends her to a boarding school halfway across the world to be taught a lesson. she knows no one and no one knows her.
but the cherry on top is who her roommate is.
#2 in ptsdawareness
#2 in anxiety
#...
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"wanna feel alive, outside i cant fight my fear"
-lovely (with khalid) by billie eilish and khalid
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I wake up gasping for air and sweating.
I can't tell the difference between sweat and tears, so maybe I'm drenched in tears?
Do I really cry that much in my sleep?
I take a shaky breath and walk to the kitchen/living area to get a drink of water. Pebbles is sleeping in the other bed on the other side of my room.
It's probably for a roommate, but I don't have one of those, haha!
I used too.
But not really.
It was my cat.
She used to sleep in my bed, but when I started having nightmares again, she left me.
Just like everyone does.
It's a funny story, really.
All my friends, my mom, my grandparents. Even my cat.
I guess I'm just meant to be alone.
I finish my glass of water and walk over to my couch, my sleep faded.
It's 4:32 in the morning, a lovely time to wake up.
I grab my phone and open Pinterest. I'm in the mood to feel single, so I type in the search bar 'cute couples,' and to my surprise, I feel single.
I sigh.
I'm convinced I'm dying alone.
"Pebbles, can you come sit with me?" I ask quietly.
Her ear twitches, which I interpret as her way of saying 'no.'
I sigh again. If I'm up at this time, I should at least be productive!
Instead of doing homework and cleaning my dorm, I decide to go on a run.
I need to lose a few pounds.
I tie on my shoes and grab my purple pepper spray.
Try saying that three times fast.
I open my door, and the pathways are lit up by the streetlights. I start a mile run timer on my Apple watch and begin running.
A few minutes in, I feel like I'm going to die.
Am I really that fat?
I take a deep breath and begin running again.
If I stop, a monster is going to eat me.
That's my motivation to keep running.
My phone begins ringing, and I ignore it, knowing it is probably my brother. He lives on the other side of the campus, and I don't see him often. Our classes overlap, and some, for him, go 'til really late at night.
