chapter 44: my girlfriend

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"cause my love is mine, all mine

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"cause my love is mine, all mine."

-my love mine all mine by mitski


⎯⎯⎯

I step onto the ice for the first time in eight weeks.

The familiar scrape of my blades cutting into the surface sends a shiver of anticipation down my spine.

I've been waiting for this moment—craving it, really—but now that I'm here, there's a knot of unease in my stomach that I can't quite shake.

What if I'm not good.

What if I've forgotten how to play hockey?

The guys are already on the ice, warming up. As soon as they see me, I catch their cautious glances.

Luca skates over first, his expression cautious. "You good, man? Really good, I mean?"

I give him a tight nod, forcing my voice to stay steady. "Yeah, I'm good. Ready to get back out there."

He doesn't look convinced, but he slaps me on the shoulder. "Just take it easy, alright? No need to push yourself too hard."

I grunt in response, already annoyed.

The truth is, the concussion messed me up more than I'd expected.

The headaches, the dizziness—it all lingered longer than I wanted to admit.

But I'm here now, and I don't need everyone treating me like I'm made of glass.

Before I can get too deep into my own head, Eli comes speeding across the ice, a grin plastered on his face.

He doesn't slow down as he approaches me, barreling right into my side with a playful shove that nearly knocks me off balance.

"Shit," I mumble.

"About time you got your ass back out here!" Eli laughs, his voice loud enough to draw a few stares from the others.

I blink, momentarily caught off guard by his reaction.

No cautious glances, no worried looks—just pure, unfiltered excitement.

"Seriously, it's been boring as fuck without you," Eli continues, circling around me on his skates. "Luca's a good guy, but he's no fun to mess with. Missed having my best friend who can bail me out of jail if I needed you to."

I can't help the small grin that tugs at the corner of my mouth. "Good to know I'm only back so you can have some fun."

"Damn straight," Eli says, slapping me on the back. "Now let's see if you've still got it, or if that bump to the head turned you into a total scrub."

His words are light, teasing, but it's exactly what I needed.

There's no hesitation in him, no walking on eggshells around me. It's like he doesn't even care about the injury—all that matters to him is that I'm back.

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