after the death of her mother, leighton's father sends her to a boarding school halfway across the world to be taught a lesson. she knows no one and no one knows her.
but the cherry on top is who her roommate is.
#2 in ptsdawareness
#2 in anxiety
#...
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"she was crying on my shoulder, all I could was hold her"
-WILDFLOWER by billie elilish
⎯⎯⎯
Kai hasn't let me out of his sight since...that night.
But he left me to go to Bailey's.
So here I am.
Her dorm feels different than mine.
It's cozy, lived-in, full of warmth that I can never seem to create in my own space. Her desk is cluttered with notebooks and textbooks, the faint smell of vanilla candles lingering in the air, and there's always some soft music playing in the background. It's a distraction—a good one—and I know that's part of why I'm here.
But I can't escape my own mind.
I sit on the edge of her bed, cross-legged, nervously picking at the fraying hem of my hoodie.
Bailey is at her desk, scribbling in her notebook, her back turned to me, but she's always known when I'm not okay.
Finally, she turns around in her chair, pushing her glasses up and giving me a look that says she's not going to let me avoid this forever.
She finally speaks, her voice softer than usual. "Leigh...we need to talk about it."
I glance up, my heart pounding in my chest. "Talk about what?" I play dumb, like we both don't know what she's talking about. Like there's anything else it could be.
Bailey doesn't take the bait.
She never does. "You know what," she says, her eyes locked on mine. "I need to know why."
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. I can't look at her. "I don't know. I just...I wasn't thinking."
"That's not true." Her voice wavers, and I can hear the crack of emotion she's trying to keep in check. "You were thinking. You were feeling something—something so bad you thought you had to...to go through with it."
"I don't want to talk about this," I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself, like maybe I can protect what's left of me from unraveling any further.
Bailey stands up and moves over to sit beside me on the bed. Her presence is calm, solid, but I can feel her anxiety underneath it.
She reaches out, gently placing a hand on my arm. "You scared me, Leigh. You scared everyone. And I need to understand, okay? I need to know what's going on with you."
Her words slice through me, guilt flooding my chest. I don't know how to explain it to her. I don't even know how to explain it to myself.
"I'm sorry," I mumble, my voice breaking as I look down at my lap, my hands twisting the fabric of my hoodie. "I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't want to...I just didn't know what else to do."
