chapter 43: i know

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I hate hospitals

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I hate hospitals.

Hate them so much.

I can't trust anyone in a hospital.

Plus they always have, with their cold, sterile walls and that smell—like antiseptic and bleach.

It clings to the air, to your clothes, even to your skin if you stay long enough.

I want to die right now.

The minute I step into his room, the anxiety that's been gnawing at my insides loosens its grip.

His eyes are in their usual sleepy position but they have a little sadness in them.

Just seeing him makes my heart do a little somersault.

My boyfriend.

I can't believe I have a boyfriend.

"Hey," I say softly, walking over to his bedside.

His hand is warm and solid in mine.

I love holding hands.

"Hey." His voice is rough, but that smirk is pure Kai.

I settle into the chair beside him, resting my head on the edge of his bed, and for a moment, it's just us. The world outside doesn't exist. Just me and Kai in our little bubble.

But our peace doesn't last long.

Bruh.

The door swings open, and I feel Kai tense beside me before I even look up. It's a man.

He looks like Kai.

Spitting image almost.

"You look like hell," the man says by way of greeting, his tone dripping with disappointment.

"Nice to see you too, Dad," Kai replies, his voice tight.

Dad.

The female dog that caused my boyfriend's panic attacks. That's caused everything.

Kai's dad steps closer, eyes flicking over me like I'm an afterthought, and I'm hit with a sudden urge to shrink away.

But I don't. I won't.

I tighten my grip on Kai's hand instead.

"This is what you've become? Lying in a hospital bed like some pathetic weakling? I got hit in the head all the time when I played hockey and I never ended up in the hospital."

"That's why you're like this," I mutter under my breath.

His words are sharp, each one slicing through the air like a blade. "You're a disgrace to me. Do you have any idea how much you've embarrassed me?"

Something inside me snaps.

I've heard enough.

"Shut the fuck up." The words tumble out before I can stop them, and I'm on my feet, facing Kai's dad head-on.

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