"im stuck in a dream"
-sarah by alex g
⎯⎯⎯
I drag my feet along the sidewalk, the sound of my shoes scuffing against the concrete drowned out by the rush of cars and the distant hum of the city.
The sunset.
It's beautiful, really, and I should be soaking it all in—reveling in the peacefulness of the evening, the calm after a long day of classes.
But my mind won't stop racing.
What if I'm not doing enough?
What if I mess everything up?
What if no one really cares about me the way I care about them?
What if Kai doesn't really want to be with me?
What if he just wants to be friends.
The thoughts pile up, one after the other, until it feels like I'm drowning in them.
I pull my jacket tighter around me, trying to shake off the creeping chill of anxiety that's worming its way into my chest.
Maybe if I just focus on the sound of my breath, I can calm down. I take a deep breath in, counting to four, then let it out slowly.
But it doesn't help.
Bruh.
I walk past a small park, the playground empty, the swings swaying gently in the breeze. It looks so peaceful, like the kind of place where everything should feel right.
Maybe if I sit for a while, I can clear my head.
I find a bench near the swings and drop onto it, staring at the ground.
The leaves crunch under my feet as I shift around, trying to find some sort of comfort, but there's none to be found.
My thoughts are still spinning, faster and faster, and no matter how hard I try, I can't slow them down.
I dig my fingers into the edge of the bench, my nails pressing into the wood until it hurts, hoping the physical pain will distract me.
But it doesn't.
The questions, the doubts—they just keep coming.
Why can't I just enjoy this moment?
Why do I always ruin everything? Why can't I be happy like everyone else?
The pressure in my chest builds until it feels like I'm going to explode. My hands start to shake, and I can't hold it in any longer.
Without thinking, without caring who might hear, I scream.
YOU ARE READING
tell me your pretty lies
Romanceafter the death of her mother, leighton's father sends her to a boarding school halfway across the world to be taught a lesson. she knows no one and no one knows her. but the cherry on top is who her roommate is. #2 in ptsdawareness #2 in anxiety #...