Against all odds (NoRenMin)

28

"Oh come on, black again? Your audience missed you, the old you, the happy, cute, sexy you. Now all they get is dark and sexy." Yangyang says the last part with a chuckle. Renjun just stares in the mirror as he puts on his makeup.

"I'm not who I used to be, I will never be that person again. I'm sorry, if they don't like me, then I guess I can try to find another job somewhere." Yangyang sighs.
"Have you ever done something in your life that you instantly regretted. Something that you can't take back but will have to live with forever? Every day I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like I'm suffocating and everything hurts and there is nothing I can do to fix it." Yangyang hugs him from behind.
"Go back. Tell them how sorry you are, tell them you
Made a mistake." He shakes his head no as he tries to stop his tears from messing up his makeup.

"I miss being in their arms at night, I miss the quiet times when Jeno would let me lay on him and read a book for hours. I miss Jaemin coming home after a long day and greeting the two of us with kisses. I'm so fucking stupid. Who throws away the best thing they've ever had because some woman told them to. Who fucking does that? She's just his mother, what could she have possibly done?" Yangyang spins his chair so he is facing him.

"You were scared. You've never had the best luck with parental figures. You know first hand what people are capable of, you've seen the worst. I completely understand how what she said could scare you that much, how it could get in your head and make you doubt everything." Renjun only nods.

"You know how I told them not to find me? The biggest part of me wishes they wouldn't have listened to me. They've given up on me and I deserve that, but I didn't want it, I said it but deep down, I didn't want it." Yangyang holds him tightly and shushes him.
"I'm sure they didn't give up. They are processing the fact that their pretty little Renjun walked out on them. I bet if you walked up to their door they would open their arms and welcome you back." Renjun shakes his head.
"It could never be that easy. I've been gone for eighteen days now. They've probably done like I asked and worked on the two of them. I'm sure they are probably better off without me. I just wish it didn't hurt this much. I wish this constant ache in my heart would go away. I wish I made better life choices. It seems like everything I do is a mistake. Except for loving them, I would never want to take that back. FUCK!"
"Ok, that's it, you are not dancing tonight. Go back home and rest. Cuddle your little animal and dress yourself in their clothes until you feel well enough to come back to work, or go back to them."

Renjun walks out of the club, still looking over his shoulder like his father will come up behind him at any moment. He knows it's impossible but the fear is still there.
When he gets to Yangyang's apartment he goes straight to his drawer and grabs Jaemin's button up and Jeno's sweater. He can never decide which one he wants to wear so most of the time it's both. He grabs his Nomin puppy and cuddles under the blankets and cries his heart out.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." He whispers it to the puppy like they will somehow get the message.

Jaemin opens the door to a mail person standing there with a smile. "Good afternoon, your package sir, I figured you'd want this personally handed to you. Oh and here is your mail for today and I found this ad taped to your mail box." He thanks him and grabs all of the mail. He sets the pile on the side table by the door and walks to the couch where Jeno is sitting with his back against the arm rest. He crawls between his legs and starts sobbing into his tummy.
"What's wrong honey." He can't speak he's crying so hard so he holds the box up for Jeno to take.
"Oh god." Jeno starts crying as well while he pets Jaemin's head.
"When does the hurt go away?" Jaemin asks through his sobs.
"I wish I knew. Today is day nineteen, but it feels like forever." Jeno says wiping at his eyes.

They are so wrapped up in their sorrow they don't hear their door opening.
"Hey guys? We're here." Haechan says as him and Mark make an appearance.
"And we brought someone special." They perk up a little, hoping it's him.
"Mom?" Jeno questions.
"Your back early?" She nods and walks over to them as Jaemin tries to sit up and collect himself.
"So, a little birdie told me you have a new love in your lives?" They nod as fresh tears pool in their eyes.
"I'd love to meet him?" Jeno shakes his head.
"He left us." She frowns.
"Why?" Jaemin clears his throat and hands her the note he left behind, it sits on the side table because at least one of them rereads it everyday.
"Oh, have you went to look for him?" She asks softly. They shake their heads no.

"Oh babies, you must know the truth. I heard this from your mother." She says to Jaemin.
"She said she told him to leave you, told him all these things about using you and being an adult and it looks to me like this would be why. She never said anything about threatening him so I don't know why he would listen." She shrugs.

"It's because of his parents Haechan chimes in. They were very strict with him when he was growing up and you know about the stabbing with Jaemin, that was his father, he wanted to kill Renjun. I think maybe parental figures scare him deeply." Jaemin couldn't hide his fury if he wanted to.
"Now now honey, I'm sure your mother was just looking out for the two of you but if you really love him then look for him. Bring him back." Jeno sighs.

"I know he's not at his parents house, we wouldn't even know where to look?" Mark, who's been pacing the floor the whole time walks over with a card in his hand.
"Maybe this will help?" Jaemin looks over the ad that was taped to his mailbox today to see it's for a gay nightclub in town.
"Oh, he went back." He says handing it to Jeno.
"Is this the club he danced at before?" He asks Mark, who nods yes.
"I wonder how this got on our box?" Jaemin asks.
"Maybe someone is trying to help you find him? Or maybe he wants to be found?" Haechan says softly.

"Wait, wait, so he's a dancer at a club and you've never been? I'd love to hear the story of how you actually met?" Jeno's mom asks.
After telling her the long story she sits with tears in her eyes.
"You go get that boy and bring him back and when he's ready, I want to meet him and give him a big hug." Jeno smiles through his tears as Jaemin walks up and hugs her tightly.
"Thank you, it means so much to have your support." Mark orders food for all of them and they sit and discuss a plan for seeing him. Once they get it all worked out they feel a lot better. Now the only thing they have left to do is convince him to come back.