doomsday. [ yellowjackets ]

cinquante-trois.

xxx.

chapter cinquante-trois.
chapter fifty three.

2021.

xxx.

That 'one time' Misty had tried to use against Alex was a very low point in her life. It had only been a handful of years after they were rescued, but Alex had tried her damndest to separate herself from the rest of the survivors. She didn't want a thing to do with any of them after Lottie got sent away and they'd agreed to manipulate the situation to put Theo in a similar boat.

But that meant she was alone to deal with her trauma from their time in the wilderness. Her parents weren't psychos, but they also didn't know how to comfort or console her when she would wake up from seemingly peaceful sleep to suddenly being in a panic attack about things she could never talk to them about.

One of those moments had happened on her 21st birthday. Her parents had gone on a cruise, one that Alex had encouraged them to go on. After her 18th birthday in the wilderness, Alex didn't let her parents celebrate her birthday anymore, so she pushed them to spend their time in a more fun way than just sitting at home with her. They obviously felt guilty about it, but Alex was insistent and waved at them the entire way as they pulled out of the driveway.

That first night alone, though, Alex was plagued by nightmares, like usual. She was able to handle it the first time, then the second night rolled around, and she still managed to calm herself down after an hour of hyperventilating. The third night, though, she couldn't do it.

She wasn't even sure what it was that had startled her so viciously from her slumber, but she didn't want to. Alex had woken up in a panic, gasping for breath the moment her eyes opened. Her brain didn't really process the fact that she was awake, it just went into overdrive, trying to get her away from whatever had scared her; that meant her knees slammed into the wooden floorboards of her bedroom, her legs feeling prickly as she forced herself to stand in haste.

Alex didn't know what she was going to do, or what she should do, but she ended up stumbling through her house, choking on her own breath that she couldn't seem to get enough of. Lungs burning, Alex had made it to her kitchen, frantically looking through the drawers and cabinets until she opened the one full of utensils. Instinctively, she reached for one of the many knives inside, but she forced herself to stop before she could grab one.

She couldn't.

Alex pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose as she turned on unsteady feet, heading towards the front door. When her bare feet touched the grass outside of her porch, Alex's weight overwhelmed her and dropped her to her knees, wheezing as she clutched her shirt, the fabric twisted into a ball in her fist.

Get up. Get the fuck up. Alex thought to herself, letting out a dry heave. It felt like her throat was closing in on itself, and none of her attacks had ever gone this long before—at least, not before someone was able to help her and calm her down. Alex couldn't suffocate on her own breath, not of her own volition, she refused, but she also knew, both consciously and not, that she couldn't rid herself of the feeling that controlled her body.

She needed help. There was no way she was going to be able to drive like that, though, so the nearest hospital was off fucking limits, she wasn't even sure where she'd left her phone to call an ambulance; they likely wouldn't have gotten there as quickly as she needed them to anyways. That meant she had to find help that was within walking distance.