Shadows Lurking | Taylor Swift Fanfic

32: 4 a m

Fuck my thoughts
I think too much
I think too much

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Amerie sat in bed motionless, she was just stiff, being swallowed by her endless thoughts.

Why does nobody like me? I wish people would point out what they don't like about me... Why do I have to be different? Why am I so annoying? Why can't people like me? Why... why do I always feel like I'm the problem?

These thoughts roamed Amerie's mind, keeping her up. Tears rolled down her face, she didn't want to cry.

Never leave my side again..

There it was, the thing that was engraved into her mind as young child.

Amerie left her bedroom in the New York apartment and carefully made her way to her Mom's bedroom.

Amerie creaked the door open, her Mom was asleep peacefully, Amerie felt bad she didn't want to disturb her Mom.

Never leave my side again..

Those words played on a loop, especially in times Amerie felt scared or anxious. It was like her brain was telling her she needed her Mom and she couldn't do things on her own all the time.

Amerie climbed into her Mom's bed, Meredith was layed awake on the end of the bed, she noticed Amerie and sensed her emotions. Meredith snuggled up to Amerie and looked up to her with her large eyes and blinked multiple times, a sign of a cat's affection.

"Mmm" Taylor groaned.

Amerie instantly felt a touch of guilt, she didn't want to wake her Mom.

Taylor's hand reached to Amerie's cheek, Amerie turned her head to her Mom and was met with her blue eyes wide awake.

The tears started to flow, which Amerie turned her head so her Mom couldn't see.

Taylor moved closer to Amerie and put her arms around her in a protective manner.

"Shhh.. Get some rest, you can tell me what's bothering you later" Taylor whispered soothingly.

Amerie didn't feel like sleeping, her thoughts were torturing her like an asylum.

Amerie heard the soft hums from her Mom, the song she used to sing to her when she was a baby.

"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin'
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that"

That soothing voice calmed Amerie, her eyelids closed and she finally felt relaxed, those thoughts had gone but most certainly would come back to haunt her another time.

․ ⁺ ⊹ 🏹 ⁀₊➷ ⋄

Amerie was rather quiet at breakfast, she ate her cereal silently.

"Is it a quiet day today?" Taylor asked, in which Amerie nodded.

"That's okay, I'm sure we can find some quiet activities to do, I bought a colouring book of myself the other day, saw it in a shop" Taylor chuckled, in which Amerie gave a smile to.

Amerie finished up her breakfast and placed her bowl in the sink to rinse it out.

"Leave it in the sink I'll put it in the dishwasher later, you my love can write down what's going through your head" Taylor said placing a notebook and pen on the table.

Amerie sat down at the table and began to write.

"Why does nobody like me? I wish people would point out what they don't like about me, I know it would make me upset but I'd rather know then be left wondering, I don't understand why people don't like me, I know people don't like me, is it because I'm different or annoying, I always feel like I'm the problem. Why can't people like me" Amerie wrote on the notebook her Mom gave her.

She slid the notebook to her Mom who looked over it and looked up to Amerie with her blue eyes full of sympathy and worry.

"Amerie, people like you a lot, you just have to find your people, the people who support you, the good friends. You've had some fake friends and it's made you feel insecure and shut down, but there is people out there who adore you, I adore you, Gracie adores you, Aunt Blake, Uncle Ryan and their children, there is so many people who like you. You Amerie are an excellent girl, stop putting yourself down. You are not different or annoying, you Amerie are extraordinary." Taylor spoke holding Amerie's hand and giving a comforting touch.

Amerie began to cry, the tears slowly dropping down her face.

"Oh come here" Taylor said moving over to Amerie and giving her a big hug and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you so much Amerie, never ever forget that" Taylor whispered into Amerie's ear.