Kenan was like a boomerang. Whenever I tried tossing him away from me as hard as I could, he came back to me with even more speed and drive. He just knew how to keep me on my toes, he wasn't one to bombard me with text messages, he didn't need to - I saw him every day and watched him training every afternoon, which already reminded me enough of his existence. Not today though, as they had a morning session while I was at uni, but I was going to see him nonetheless as it was his turn for his private talk with me, regarding his future at the club.
My hands were sweating all day and two minutes before 4pm struck, I heard a knock on my door. "Yep, come in!" I shouted, assuming it was going to be him, and I was right. He whistled when he saw my office from the inside for the first time. "Fancy... And... nice view" he chuckled when he saw the training field below me. "My view is mainly my computer screen" I replied dryly. "Oh, I'll have to push more at training then to attract your attention" he said and looked me straight into my eyes.
I sat down behind my desk, looking at him seriously, this wasn't playtime. "So, how do you see your future here?" I asked and moved some papers on my desk. "With you" he shot right out and I gave him an annoyed look. "You can't be serious" I huffed, determined to point out the facts why would never work now. "What, why not?" he asked.
"Let's say in three years from now, you get an amazing offer from... I don't know, the Prem. You wouldn't and you shouldn't say no to that, just because I'm here" I replied. "What if I want to become a club legend like... del Piero? Or Buffon, or Marchisio?" he shot back. "Would you risk not winning titles for that?" I asked. "Yeah, maybe I would" he simply replied. "Maybe is not good enough" I told him.
"I can only give you a maybe because you don't give me a chance to turn that into a "For sure". I want to take you out, get to know you... We're still young, Bibi, we can grow together" he said and reached out his hand to take mine. My brain said Move!, while my heart said Leave it! to my hand - and I followed the latter advice, so he took it. "Kenan, I-" I started, but he cut me off. "How can you say no before you even know what it could be?" he asked, making it sound almost like a plea.
"Why are you like this?" I asked almost desperately, wiggling my hand free from his touch. "Because I've fallen in love for the first time in my life" he replied and I scoffed. "Love is dangerous" I muttered. "Love is beautiful" he shot back.
"Alright, you know what else is holding us apart? Our cultures and our religions" I said, now pulling out the big guns. "Oh! So that's the problem!" he scoffed amusedly and clapped his hands before shaking his head in disbelief. "You think I'd show up at the training centre here one day, wearing a suicide vest and threatening to blow up everything?" he asked angrily, standing up and pushing back his chair. "Oh don't be ridiculous!" I shouted. "You know what I mean!"
"No, Bibi, I don't. I frankly don't know what you mean or feel or do. If you want to stay away from me, why don't you? Why do you keep spending time with me and kissing me? Why don't you just stay away?" he shouted, walking closer to me. "Because I can't!" I shouted exasperatedly, walking to him. "Then don't" he said quietly and took my head in his hands. "Don't..." he whispered and I looked at the ground. He didn't have to ask, I couldn't and wouldn't stay away from him, regardless of everything I said.
"This is not how this meeting was supposed to be" I mumbled and turned away from him, walking back to my desk where I sat down and buried my head in my hands. "I won't give up, Bibi. You can't deny that there's something between us" he said, sounding almost exasperated. "Please just... go" I sighed, not looking at him because I knew I'd lose all common sense and leave everything behind to ride off into the sunset with him.
He just nodded wordlessly and left, making me throw my head back in my office chair and groan. Why was everything so fucking complicated?
———————————————
There was no escaping this, I had to tell Dean about everything that had been and was going on with Kenan. I didn't really have any girl friends as they always tried to get close to football players through me, or boy friends as they only wanted tickets for games, so Dean was really my only friend. Yeah, quite embarrassing for a 19-year-old "popular" girl, but I hated being used and I rather only had Dean than a bunch of fake friends.
We met up at one of our favourite restaurants and I immediately ordered a glass of red wine while he had to stick with a diet coke. "You here to confess?" he asked me with an amused grin on his face and I knew that he knew. "He spilled?!" I exclaimed. "Of course, who else would tell him not to give up asking you out?" he chuckled. "What the hell? Why would you do that?" I asked agitatedly.
"Because he's a good guy, Bea. And you deserve good" he replied and I scoffed. "There's so much holding us apart, Dean" I sighed. "But he makes you feel like no one else" he countered. "Feelings are overrated" I replied. "Just because you had to grow up doesn't mean you're a grown-up. Bea, you have to allow yourself to feel like a teenager too sometimes... and he brings that out in you. Let him. Be foolish, be in love, be crazy - you need that balance or you'll go insane by 25, realising you wasted your best years" he replied.
"I'm afraid to get hurt" I admitted. "I lost Dado, I'm not ready to have such deep feelings for someone I could lose too." "There is no other remedy for love than to love more" he said and shrugged, making me raise an eyebrow at him. "Ok, Romeo, how come you haven't found a girlfriend with all those wise words coming out of your mouth?" I asked. "Because love isn't something you find, it's something that finds you" he answered, trying to act mysterious, managing to make me laugh.
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📍 PUNTO MOLE - DINNER&PIZZA Tagged: beatrice.agnelli1 deanhuijsen Dinner was almost as hot & fresh as my bestie 🥰
user1 Please date, you would look so cute together 🥹 juvestoriadiungrandeamore_ 🤍🖤 We love Beatrice! fedexchiesa Did the restaurant have any food left after you guys finished? user2 You're just friends with her for your career andrea_cambiaso Almost...
