Luce di Stella • Kenan Yildiz

Chapter 27: He's Leaving

🎶 It'll Be Okay — Shawn Mendes 🎶

My life was perfect. I had the best boyfriend (yes, we were official for us now, but still kept it as private as possible) I could have ever wished for, worked my dream job (well, almost, but in this stage of life, this was the best I could have) and had just woken up after last night's celebrations for our 6-1 Coppa Italia win against Salernitana, one of the goals shot by none other than Kenan himself. Dean had looked a bit distant yesterday evening but I blamed that on him being benched and on top of that, not wanting to third-wheel with us all the time, especially at parties, so I was set to ask him out for dinner today to spend some quality time alone with my best friend.

As usual, I made my way to the JTC after uni in the afternoon and walked to my office with a bright smile on my face, greeting everyone with a chirpy voice. When I sat down at my desk, I checked my agenda first and saw our weekly director's meeting up in half an hour. I checked some e-mails first and finished my draft for next month's social media strategy before walking to the conference room, where I arrived third, our President and Vice President already there, chatting animatedly about yesterday's win and I joined the conversation.

The rest joined us in the following minutes and the meeting was formally opened by the President, before we started discussing the agenda.
"Next up we have Cristiano with the winter transfer of player number #13, Dean Huijsen" he announced and my eyes almost popped out of my head and I started wildly coughing because I gagged on my own saliva.
"Are you alright?" Allegri next to me asked and I quickly nodded, sending him a fake smile. What the hell, Dean had never mentioned a transfer and now I had to find out like this?

"The player and his management have asked for a loan to gain more playing minutes" Cristiano explained.
"I can't blame him, he's a promising player. But our defense is stacked up and there are no significant injuries which could allow me to put him into play" Allegri explained while I still sat there, frozen.
"There have been two Serie B interests, Como and Südtirol, but the one he's considering most, which is also also the most lucrative one for us, is AS Roma" Cristiano continued.

"We should push for Como" I spoke up, putting my hurt friendship feelings aside.
"Roma is paying 700,000€ while Como is barely offering 200,000€" Massimo, our Secretary-General countered.
"This shouldn't be about money, but what's best for our player. He won't get minutes at Roma either. Como is looking promising this season and he could play a big role in helping them up into the Serie A" I argued.
"The player and his camp want Roma" President Gianluca stated and I scoffed frustratedly.

"I'm surprised you don't know this, as his best friend. You should be supporting him, Roma is an important club and he needs to build a name" Cristiano shot at me.
"I can separate business and private life. That's why I just want what's best for him!" I shot back.
"It doesn't seem like it" he replied and raised his hands, making me boil with anger.
"You can sort out your differences elsewhere. I approve the loan, next point on the agenda" President Gianluca cut us off and I just sat there, my arms crossed, unbelievably hurt by my best friend not sharing this with me first, and now by a stupid man accusing me of being a bad friend.

The rest of the meeting became uninteresting for me and I was the first to jump up from my seat when it was over. I glanced at my clock - 17.32 - the players should still be at recovery training, so I stormed downstairs to the gym.
"DEAN!" I shouted angrily, my eyes falling on him sitting on an exercise bike next to my boyfriend. Everyone just continued doing their exercises, knowing it was best to not cross me now.

"You heard" Dean sighed when I reached him as I looked at him angrily.
"Damn yes, I did! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I shouted at him, not even caring about my boyfriend climbing down from his bike in an effort to calm me down.
"Because I didn't want to disappoint you and talk me out of it" Dean mumbled and I put my head in his hands.
"They're sending you off to Roma!" I exclaimed. "You're leaving" I added in a whisper.
"It's a loan, Bea, I'll come back" he replied exasperatedly as he saw the tears pricking in my eyes.

I just turned around and stormed away, to not let anyone see me cry. I never cried, especially not in front of others. It only showed weakness, making it even easier to let people know where to hurt you. And yes, my best friend was my weakness. And he didn't tell me because I was his boss and the lines were blurring between that and just being his friend - fuck fuck fuck. As soon as I arrived in my office I slammed the door shut behind me and walked to the sofa where I buried my crying face into one of the decor pillows. I don't know how long I sat there as my tears kept flowing, but at some point, the door opened and I looked up, knowing of only one person who would dare to enter without knocking.

Kenan looked at me with a hurt face, as if me hurting was hurting him too. He walked over to sit down next to me and pulled me close to him, so that my teary face was now wetting his training shirt.
"He's leaving" I sobbed and he put his head on mine.
"He'll come back, Bibi. It's just a loan" he tried to calm me down with that phrase too, and I knew that, but still.

"You'll leave too, everyone will leave and I'll be left back here all alone!" I exclaimed and stood up from his embrace.
"You're hurt, and I am too, he didn't tell me either. But he won't stop being your best friend and I won't stop being your boyfriend, whatever happens" he said sternly as he stood up too.
"You know long distance won't work with the job and responsibility I have" I argued.
"I won't leave, Bibi. I'll stay right here. With you" he said calmly, holding firm and strong eye contact, that made all my anger crumble.

"You won't leave?" I asked with a trembling voice.
"Never. I promise." he replied and I shut my eyes, letting fresh tears fall from my eyes.