Luce di Stella • Kenan Yildiz

Chapter 55: Paying the Price

🎶 Conplicated — Olivia O'Brien 🎶

I had attentively watched our first game back after the international break from the TV at home as it was an away game in Parma, and my schedule didn't allow me to attend the match in person. But I didn't like what I saw at all. Sure, we won with a very lucky 1-0 (the penalty we had been awarded had honestly been a joke), but Kenan hadn't performed all game and was subbed off in the 60th minute - rubbing his colourfully taped knee.

All of this didn't sit right with me, but his physio had assured me that it was just a discomfort for now, nothing more. But I knew Kenan and I suspected that he was downplaying the situation - to not risk having to miss out games in which he was needed with the team. Truth was, that in this state, he was no help at all.

A few days later, I arrived very nervous at the Allianz for the first Champions League game of the season. We were facing RB Leipzig and they surely weren't a team to be underestimated. It didn't make me happy to see Kenan in the starting line-up, so I went downstairs to search for Leonardo and ask for an update on the player's fitness. I found him chatting animatedly with some colleagues near the changing rooms.

"Leonardo!" I shouted from the hallway and the group immediately straightened up and fell silent as I neared them.
"Miss Agnelli!" the poor guy said and nodded to greet me.
"Why is Mr Yildiz starting? You saw how he was last game!" I whispered agitatedly under my breath, not wanting to catch too much attention.
"He insisted he was fine! I gave him a pressure massage and taped him on the weakened areas" he replied.
"Do you listen to yourself? You give a player, who is weakened a green light to possibly play 90 minutes?!" I hissed, but before he could get the chance to reply, I had already turned around, trying to find Kenan to talk some sense into him.

"Uh, uh, sorry, men only" the security in front of the changing room told me severely, blocking my way.
"Do you know who I am?" I snapped at him, but he just tilted his head unimpressedly and I was pretty sure that there was steam coming out of both my ears now.
"Miss Agnelli, what's going on?" I heard someone ask and I turned around to see the coach. Fine, he would work too.

"You can't start Mr Yildiz. He's been having knee problems and I am pretty sure that they are more severe than he wants to admit" I told him, underlining my words with a lot of hand gestures. I was just nervous... and Italian.
"You want me to take out our strongest player when the odds of winning already aren't in our favour?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"He barely wasn't in the top 10 strongest players at the last game" I argued.
"Look, Miss Agnelli, I appreciate your concern, but if Mr Yildiz and the physio team have given a green light for tonight's game, I will use and play him" he replied.

"You clearly don't know Mr Yildiz" I scoffed.
"I suggest you should detach yourself from him emotionally and let us playing staff do the technical decisions while you stick with your business" he snarled and my jaw dropped as he walked away. What was going on with all these people today? I was their fucking boss and they treated me as if I had seen a football for the first time in my life just yesterday. Or was I really too emotionally attached and not seeing this in the right light?

Since there were only fifteen minutes to the start of the game now, I frustratedly made my way upstairs to the VIP box. There were only a few distant family members of mine attending tonight and I greeted them shortly before sitting down next to Claudio.
"Are you ok?" he asked, looking at me sideways.
"Perfectly fine" I replied curtly and he saw that it was better not to dig deeper.

The game eventually started and my eyes were only on Kenan. He did seem better to be honest, making runs and applying pressure on the opponent players. Whenever the ball was at his feet, he managed to skilfully dribble it, just like he always did. We were twenty minutes in, when he was passed the ball by Andrea and started a run towards the goal. A Leipzig player caught up to him and they battled for the ball, when suddenly Kenan went down. Frustrated groans were echoing through the stadium, and when the German player offered Kenan his hand, he wasn't able to take it, because he was clutching his knee so tightly.

My hands covered my mouth and my heart stopped, he looked in a lot of pain. Two guys from our medical team rushed to him and analysed the situation, trying to talk to him, but all I could see was him shaking his head and rubbing his knee with a painful expression. His teammates gathered around and I saw Fagioli's hands wandering into his hair with a pain-stricken expression on his face. Fuck, this wasn't looking good.

Kenan tried to stand up with help, but he shook his head again, covering his eyes, his chest rising and falling quickly, he looked like he was crying and sobbing. My heart ached for him but right now, I couldn't do anything. Eventually, he was carried away on a stretcher and taken into the tunnel, while another winger was subbed in. The Beatrice on the inside wanted to stand up and run to the changing room immediately to see how he was doing and asking the doctors for their diagnosis. I refused to believe it could be something worse than a blow.

But the outside Beatrice knew it was a serious injury and she couldn't just leave the box in the middle of an important game to look how her ex... or whatever he was - was doing. And so I continued to watch the remaining minutes of this first half, completely unfocused with my leg bouncing up and down nervously. The second the referee blew the whistle, I jumped up and raced downstairs to the changing room, unfortunately encountering some traffic on the stairs.

"Ma'am, I already told you before, it's men onl-" the stupid security guard said again when I had arrived, trying to hold me up.
"YOU'RE FIRED!" I shouted at him, knowing damn well that European employment law didn't work that way, but it was enough to scare him away and let me get access to the room. Kenan was laying on a medical bed in the middle, with his teammates gathered around him.

"Where the fuck were you?" Kenan shouted at me when our eyes met and I took a step back, surprised by his behaviour. The others also looked at me a bit weirded out, feeling some tension and not knowing what to do.
"You all concentrate on the second half now!" I yelled at them and they quickly moved away from Kenan and towards their lockers.

"Where were you?" Kenan hissed at me again and I noticed the team doctor and Leonardo exchanging weird glances as they were still standing next to us.
"What's your diagnosis?" I asked those two without paying attention to Kenan laying there, putting his hands in his hair frustratedly.
"It's... we haven't done any tests yet..." Leonardo mumbled but I looked straight at the doctor with my eyebrows raised.
"It's probably an ACL tear, but we can only confirm that after a medical tomorrow" he replied and I shut my eyes.

I opened them again to look at Kenan who was just staring blankly at the ceiling now. Some teammates of his came around and patted his shoulders and mumbled some words of encouragement before heading back out into the tunnel for the start of the second half.
"Can we... have a minute?" I asked Leonardo, who was bandaging Kenan's injured knee and he quickly nodded as he strapped it around one more time.

"You ignored my concerns" I stated coolly when we were alone in the changing room.
"And you didn't even bother to come looking after me" he shot back. I shook my head in disbelief as I smiled sarcastically.
"You're the one in the wrong and now you're paying for it" I argued, maybe a bit too harshly.
"I... I didn't want to let you down and I... fuck Bibi, I... I needed you, I wanted to see you walking through that door before any stupid doctor or physio or teammate" he whined, pulling his hair.

"I can't... I can't talk with you right now. I'm SO pissed!" I shouted and turned around, pacing up and down. "Do you have someone that can get you home?" I asked after regaining some composure.
He shut his eyes. "I... have no one here. It's just you" he admitted quietly and those words were tugging at my heart, but I couldn't break the ice around it.
"I have to get back now. I'll tell my driver to pick you up here and take you home. I can come visit you after the game and... get you what you'll need for the next days-" I tried to say as calmly as possible, but he still cut me off angrily as he sat up abruptly.

"It's always going to be like this! Always the club first! Even when I'm at the lowest point of my life! That was exactly why I broke up with you!" he shouted in his rage and my heart stopped. He realised what he had just dropped and his face quickly fell, turning into an apologising one.
"Bibi... I..." he stammered, but now it seemed that he ran out of words. I took a shaky breath and looked at him with watery eyes.
"Francesco will pick you up shortly" I said with a shaky voice before turning around and walking to the door, which I yanked open a bit too aggressively.