Luce di Stella • Kenan Yildiz

Chapter 52: Trusting New Friends

🎶 Hymn — Kesha 🎶

After that teaser snippet had started circling around all over the internet, and being used in all sorts of weird TikTok edits, as well as being featured in every gossip column of Italian tabloids, I decided that it would be best to leave the US and the summer tour early, to limit the possibilities of finding myself in any weird situation that could arise with an (in)voluntary involvement of Kenan.

But I wasn't going to be able to avoid him forever and sooner than I had wished, our annual first team vs NextGen clash was around the corner. After Dean had left, I was now stuck with Andrea, Nicolo, Fabio and their girlfriends Giulia and India as basically my only friends in Turin. Right now, Giulia was laying on my sofa while I walked out of my bedroom, showing her various outfit options for the game and the reception at Uncle John's later.

"This one looks like you're going to get married" she commented when I walked out in a white summer dress.
"Great, not what I want anyone to think" I huffed and walked back to try on another outfit option.
"And we wouldn't want poor Kenan to be remembered of what he lost" she snickered and I quickly stuck my head out of my doorframe.
"He saved himself from that lunatic, trust me" I told her and she sat up a bit, looking up from the fashion magazine she was flicking through.
"So... He did leave her... for you?" she asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

I just looked at her, raising my eyebrows and trying to deflect the conversation that was coming, without any luck though.
"Come on. You think we're stupid enough to buy the story that you both broke up with your exes in a matter of days, and nothing between you happened?" she asked and I sighed.
"You're going to tell everyone" I huffed and she raised her arms innocently.
"Hey! I can keep a secret if needed!" she defended herself.

"Yeah, you can, but your boyfriend can't. He'll tell Andrea and Fabio a second after you tell him and if Andrea knows, the whole world basically knows" I said annoyedly. Giulia closed the magazine she was "reading" and stood up to walk over to me, putting her hands on my shoulders.
"Bea... I know we're not Dean and haven't known you since you were little. We don't know every story and adventure of your adolescence. We don't know each one of your secrets, but... Dean is gone and... we're here. We are your friends, really. I know it's hard to trust and you wished your best friend Dean was still here, but... he isn't. And you can't bottle up your feelings forever. Your job is fucking stressful and by the looks of it... your private life is too. You need to blow off some steam and we are the friends you could need. We don't need to talk every day, or know everything about each other's lives,... but when it's time to come through... we'll be there for you" she told me and I shot her a weak smile.

"Thanks Giulia... And sorry... I just... can't replace Dean, it feels... wrong" I sighed and rubbed my temples.
"I get it. He was your best friend through everything and the last thing anyone wants is to take his place. But you need to let go, Bea... He's not coming back" she told me and rubbed my shoulder, trying to comfort me.
"I know... And... yeah..." I replied and took a deep breath. "I cheated on him with Kenan" I finally spoke out the truth.

Giulia covered her mouth with her hands in shock, she probably hadn't expected me to blurt the facts out so bluntly.
"Oh my gosh..." she whispered.
"See? I'm an awful person and no one wants to be friends with people like me" I scoffed and was about to walk back to my living room, when she grabbed my arm.
"No. No judging. Yeah, what you did was pretty awful, but we all have our skeletons in the closet" she replied and I pressed my lips together into a small smile.

"And... what's going on with you guys now?" she asked as she sat back down on the sofa and I continued changing to show her my next outfit option.
"I suggested that we stayed away from each other for a while... and just see if life brings us together again. To be honest, I had expected him to make some efforts, to court me like he did when we first met. Back then, he made me feel... man, Giulia, I can't describe it. The feeling of being so... wanted. I want to feel that again. With Dean, it just... happened. But a man making efforts and going to lengths to show his feelings for you... ah" I swooned.

"Did you tell him that's what you want? He probably doesn't know what to do and doesn't want to make a fool out of himself" she countered.
"You don't know about the issues we had, but... he didn't seem too concerned about anything when he decided to go back to his father's family this summer and meet up again with his ex" I sighed, painting a way more dramatic picture of the situation. In fact, Giulia made a quizzing face, furrowing her eyebrows.
"He did tell the guys in the changing room that he ran into Dilara this summer, but... nothing more happened" she stated.

"Ok, fine. Maybe they just ran into each other, but still, I was back here all alone, wondering all day if he still loved me..." I sighed and walked out with the outfit I was pretty sure of wearing.
"You look like this is just another business day at work" Giulia said as she eyed me up and down, pretty unimpressed.
"Perfect. One thing less the tabloids can criticise me about then." I replied and smiled.
"Anyways... Chill. Of course he still loves you, or he wouldn't have cheated on his fiancée and then not have gone through with a wedding. Just... shoot him a first signal and... wait for the magic to happen" she swooned.

"That outfit won't help too much though. You should have gone for something that screams Make me yours rather than Welcome at the restaurant, may I take your order?" she giggled and even I had to laugh.
"Maybe he can take that as a hint that I want to be asked out for dinner" I chuckled.
"No wonder boys say we're impossible to read" she replied and stood up to hug me, seeing that I really needed that right now.