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📍 Turin Italia beatrice.agnelli1 Evening out 🤎
user1 So pretty 😭 giulia_bernacci 😏😏😏 deanhuijsen 💖💖💖
"Hey guys" I greeted Fabio and India as they sat down on Dean's car's backseats after we had picked them up. Kenan (and Dilara) were hosting a sort of Ballon d'Or celebration/housewarming party tonight and he had invited all his teammates and plus ones. As a supportive girlfriend I decided to attend, feeling a bit uneasy however to barge into Kenan's personal space that he had built with his fiancée.
"Can't wait to see how plain and boring their home looks like, just like her" India scoffed. The girl was totally not amused about having to pretend to get on with Dilara, for PR's sake. "Come on, the two times I talked to her she didn't seem... too bad" Dean said, but India leaned forward between our front seats. "As someone who has to hang out with her every week: trust me. That girl loves her life but she doesn't want to accept the negatives that come along with it. She's whiny and annoying, I don't know how any man could agree to spending a lifetime with someone like that" she spat.
"Well, their meeting was kind of... arranged. His father was always obsessed with Kenan marrying a Turkish girl" I sighed. "Fine, but I bet there are also nice Turkish girls over there" she scoffed, not wanting to let it go and I laughed a bit. The drive wasn't far from the Miretti's, as almost every Juve player lived in the same area on the hills. We rang the downstairs bell, which was opened immediately and I let Fabio and India go ahead, even though the girl already seemed to want to leave again.
"Hello!" Dilara chirped on her doorstep as we appeared and Fabio pushed the bouquet of flowers they had bought into her hands. They moved inside then and India desperately started looking for the non-existing alcohol bar. "Hey" Dean said friendly and I echoed him. "This is for you guys" I said and held up the loaf of bread and the packet of salt we had brought as our housewarming gift. "Hey" Kenan now said as he appeared at the entrance too. "I'm... really happy that you came Dean" he said quietly and my boyfriend just nodded, pressing his lips together.
It was a weird situation and the tension between us four was thick. Thankfully, someone arrived behind us and I took Dean's hand to slip inside with him, before we both took a deep breath. We looked at each other and cracked up in a laugh. "Come on, I'll get you something to drink" he said and rubbed my back before leaving. Some players who were already here walked up and greeted me. When Dean returned we had some small talk about... football obviously and I let my eyes wander around the room.
His parents were here and my soul froze inside. I also noticed his best friends Can and Ilyas moving around the living room. I couldn't help but feel the anger and disappointment boil up in me - I blamed them all of not backing up and supporting our relationship enough, while my family had gone all out for Kenan, always. Our PR had defended our relationship to death and we were a well-loved couple thanks to that, here in Italy. But never amongst his own circle.
"I'm going to have a smoke outside, I'll be right back" I told Dean before kissing his cheek and walking over to the small balcony, before closing the door behind me. I put the small cigarette into my Iqos and started the device before taking a long puff. "Ah, I was about to ask you for a lighter, but now I see that you won't have one" I heard Can say as he opened the balcony door and stepped outside with me.
"Nope. Sorry." I replied curtly and puffed on my Iqos again. "I'm... surprised you came" he mumbled and I raised my eyebrows. "Why shouldn't I? My boyfriend was invited and I accompanied him" I said dryly, making him laugh a bit, for whatever reason. "Yeah but... I never thought you were the person to... accompany someone. You're always the star, wherever you go" he chuckled. "Listen, I don't get why you have to try and... diminish my persona in any way. He left me, we both moved on and you should just shut up" I said before taking another deep puff that went straight to my lungs.
"Why did you always believe that I didn't like you?" he asked and I raised my eyebrows again. "Really? Maybe you should listen to how you talk to me, then you have your answer" I scoffed. "Bibi, it's not the world who's against you, it's mostly yourself..." he said in an effort to be wise, but I couldn't believe this guy. "And you know who I thought was always going to be by my side? Kenan. On the contrary of what you guys all believed, we saw eye to eye. We were partners, we were one. And when he left, he took a part of me with him and I'll never get that back" I said angrily before throwing away my finished stick and going back inside.
But after this conversation I was on war-mode and I couldn't just switch it off. Especially when I saw Kenan's father alone at a table, which had been set up as a small buffet. With confident steps, I walked over to him. "You finally got what you wanted, you must be so happy" I snarled and he turned around to look at me before he raised his eyebrows and laughed a bit. "Now, now, Bibi. You're here with your new boyfriend, you shouldn't act like you haven't gotten over your teenage romance yet" he chuckled.
"You know it wasn't just a teenage romance. And trust me, Dean is way more sour about him leaving than me" I snapped back. "Leaving was the best decision he ever made. It won him titles and a Ballon d'Or, or would you disagree with that?" he asked. "No. But he lost me" I said with a trembling voice. "He seems to be doing just fine" he replied with an amused grin on his face as he nodded over to Kenan who had his arm around Dilara's waist as they talked to Bremer and his wife.
"You're unbelievable. I never did anything to you. And he was only able to go to Chelsea because of what he had built up here, with my help and that of my family. Without us, he would have been nothing but an overhyped youngster, and you know that" I hissed at him. My mind replayed everything I had gotten done for him: an incredible PR strategy and management, I had been the one insisting on him getting the #10 shirt so early on, my family's support at games, the heavy pay rise he had gotten, and so many more things.
"You saw him as an investment and not as a man" his father argued, but I shook my head. "I saw eye to eye with him. Only in your wicked world would you want him to have someone that doesn't share the spotlight with him, but who plays along and lets him shine alone" I replied. "You act as if I'm the bad guy here, Bibi, but they were all his decisions: leaving Turin, getting with Dilara, asking her to marry him... Let it go and focus on your own relationship" he said. "And I know that. But he craved for your support in our relationship a lot. And my family always being there was what made him feel overwhelmed and trapped ultimately" I tried to argue back, but it was hopeless. What did I even want to achieve with this?
Without waiting for an answer, I pushed my way past him and tried to find Dean. "Hey, you alright?" I heard a familiar voice asked as I bumped into it. Kenan. "No, but I'll survive. I learned how to" I muttered and pushed past him. I finally saw Dean sitting on the sofa, chatting with Cambiaso and Di Gregorio. "Hey" I said softly as I sat down next to him. "Hey" he replied and smiled as he put his arm around me. I shut my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. "Can we go?" I asked quietly and I felt him nod. "Sure, come on" he said and held my hand as we stood up. We said goodbye to the boys, and decided to still be polite enough to do the same with the hosts.
My eyes scanned the room, and through the windows, I saw Kenan in a heated exchange with his father outside, which made my heart stop. "Um... he looks kinda occupied" I told Dean and pointed at the window. "And I can't find Dilara. Let's just go" he replied and I quickly nodded, wanting nothing more than getting out of this place. My head was a mess and I needed to sort it asap.
The whole ride back home, Dean's hand rested on my thigh and my guilt was eating me up from inside. Since Kenan returned, every day that passed it became clearer to me that I had not moved on. Help, I'm still at the restaurant. And I'd have to tell Dean because he didn't deserve a girl like this. But on the other hand, I couldn't lose him, I couldn't lose the one person that loved me now. How the hell should I deal with this?!
