Knock Again, Professor [GL• #1]

Chapter 27

SAMARA LEWIS FERNANDEZ POV

Before...

I could still vividly recall the day my life shattered like fragile glass. It always makes me sleep restlessly at night, haunting my dreams and replaying relentlessly.

Akala ng ilan ay perpekto ang aming pamilya, tulad ng nakikita nila sa mga magasin. Ngunit ang totoo, malayo kami sa pagiging perpekto. Isa kaming pamilya na mas malala pa kaysa sa inaakala ninuman.

My father cheated on my mom and left us when I was just a kid.

He told my mom he still loved his first love. Nabuntis niya rin ito, they were expecting a baby girl. Bilang bata noon, masakit iyon sa akin.. kahit pa hindi ko naman lubos na nauunawaan ang mga nangyayari.

After my father left us, my grandparents took care of me, while my older brother chose to go with our dad. I didn't know why he also left me and our Mom.

I think, it's because he was much closer with our father, that's why I thought, or maybe we were both just trying to survive in our own ways.

Our family was broken, and nothing was as it seemed.

The pictures in the magazines showed smiling faces, but behind those smiles were lies and pain. My mom tried her best to keep things together, but it was never enough. Alam ko na masakit sa kaniya ang ginawa ni Daddy, sobrang sakit. But still, I couldn't be mad at my father, siguro... I'm more curious why he did it to us?

I get it that he still loves his first love more than he ever did to our Mom, or did he even love her? Kung hindi man niya mahal si Mommy, naisip niya ba ako?

Even as a child, I am fully aware of all the pain and sadness in our home.

My mom often cried when she thought I wasn't looking. My grandparents tried to fill the void, but they couldn't replace the family I had lost. I missed my brother, even though he had chosen a different path.

Hindi lang ako nawala ng ama, nawala rin ang kapatid ko... at dahil sa matinding lungkot ay nawalan din ako ng Ina. She couldn't handle the pain that my father did.

Growing up in so much pain shaped who I became. The pain and betrayal left scars that I carried with me into adulthood. Naging mahirap ang pagtitiwala  ko sa iba, at madalas akong makaramdam ng pag-iisa, kahit sa isang silid na puno ng tao. All memories of my father's abandonment and my brother's absence were always with me, isang madalas na paalala sa akin na ang pamilyang meron ako dati ay hindi na kailanman muling mabubuo.

Despite everything, I held on to the hope that one day things might get better. I longed for a time when our family could heal and be whole again. But as the years passed, I realized that some wounds never fully heal, and some broken pieces can never be put back together. Not ever again.

Growing up, I felt incredibly lonely. My mom always focused on her work, which she seemed to love more than she loved me. She changed a lot after my father left. She became heartless and distant to me, she's no longer the caring mother I remembered from before. It was like she built a wall around herself, shutting me out completely.

I have no one left.

But luckily I had my grandparents with me. They were my safe haven in those tough times. Ibinigay nila ang pagmamahal at pag-aalaga na lubos kong kailangan. They took me in and treated me as their own child. My grandmother Natacha, would cook my favorite meals and tell me stories to cheer me up. My grandfather Amiro, would take me to his golf contest, and even if he's a busy CEO he makes time to listen to me. They did everything they could to fill the void left by my parents.