Knock Again, Professor [GL• #1]

Chapter 23

"In the grand tapestry of my life, could true love truly emerge as a luminous and profound connection, binding our souls in a way that defies description?  Can this love, unwavering and steadfast, become our sanctuary, a wellspring of relentless support and boundless encouragement, guiding me through the darkest of nights and the fiercest of storms? Magiging sapat ba na mahal mo ang isang tao para lang manatili sa kanya kahit pa sobrang sakit ang naidulot nya sa iyo?" "I spoke coldly while she kept crying next to me. After a long dramatic statement I ended it with a question, making her ask herself and view what she caused to my existence.

We were at the seaside,  listening to the sound of sea waves, together with our hearts beating so loud. Just after what we did, I finally have the courage to face and talk to her again.

Instead of answering me, she just started crying. Nakaupo siya samantalang ako ay nakatayo at nakatanaw sa mga ilaw ng barko sa dulo ng pier.

Isang malamig na hangin ang parehong yumakap sa amin. "Have you ever thought of those words you said, before you left me hanging? It stabbed my heart that made me almost die. Everything I have was gone, ikaw nalang ang meron ako nun, but you left me, living a huge scar in my heart."

I remained cold in my words, while she continued to cry beside me. "Have you ever, think twice before hurting me? Kasi Sam it made me question everything, you hurt me so much that it made my heart tear apart. You made me who I am right now. Hindi ko rin alam ba't bumalik ka pa? When I am already better without you!" I shout the last sentence in front of her face.

Instead of giving a response, she quietly walked over to me and embraced me with an intense, almost desperate hug, as if holding me tightly could convey all the emotions and words that were left unspoken. "I was dying that time, my mom died, everything left me, hinanap kita kasi ikaw nalang ang meron ako. I spent so much time searching for you, hinahanap kita believing that finding you would be there to comfort me, kasi I had been longing for that, since I have no one, Ikaw nalang, I was left with a heart shattered into pieces, feeling more broken  than I could ever imagined, when you said those words na hindi mo na ako mahal." nanginginig ang boses na sinabi ko.

Patuloy lang siya sa pag-iyak habang yakap pa rin ako. Pero inalis ko iyon gaya kung paano nya ako itinaboy noon na yakapin siya. "You made it very clear to me how we don't fit together, repeating how undeserving I am of your love. You showed me, again and again, how out of place I am in your life and kung gaano ako kababa para sa'yo!' sigaw ko sa kanya.

Hinarap ko siya sa akin. "Huwag kang umiyak dyan, kasi hindi bagay sa'yo! Hindi bagay sa isang katulad mo na makiusap sa akin-"

"Lane, I'm so sorry." sabi nya bagay na mas lalong nagpainis sa akin.

"Sorry for what?!" I shouted from the bottom of my heart, my voice echoing with all the pain and frustration that had built up inside me. The words erupted from deep within, carrying the weight of every unspoken hurt and disappointment I had endured. "Sam, ang tagal tagal nun? Sobrang tagal na nun, and you think a simple apology would heal and help everything?!"

"Lane, I didn't know na mag-isa ka!"

"Because you never took the time to understand what I've been struggling with, never cared enough to see the battles I've been fighting every day. You didn't make an effort to know the depths of my pain and the struggle I've been facing, leaving me to feel alone and abandoned in my darkest moments!" sigaw ko ulit sa kanya.

"Lane, pinagsisihan ko lahat, I'm sorry! I didn't tell you, I'm so sorry-" I cut her off.

"Tell me what? How happy you were when you left, leaving me with so much pain? Sam, I died the moment you left me alone!" I shouted, my voice thick with agony. Each word carried the weight of my heartbreak, echoing the torment that had consumed me since the day she walked away from me.