THE SEVENTH || (Taekook/Vkook) ||

Chapter 40: Believer of Christ

Things were going well at the Bangtan household.

Well, at least on paper.

Jungkook has said it before, and he'll say it again. He ruined Taehyung. This time he really did. The change of heart Taehyung had after that one last break up Jungkook so stupidly put him through is evident in how the older carries himself nowadays. He is normal, but at the same time he's not. Jungkook knows that he can't be the only one noticing.

And he knows he did it. It's his fault.

His angel-like lover was wary and cold, but it's also as if he was in a constant battle within himself about whether he was allowed to be weary and cold. Jungkook just wanted to tell Taehyung that it was okay, that he was allowed. He was allowed to scream at the top of his lungs that he wasn't okay, that nothing was okay and Jungkook would make sure to help and support Taehyung for as long as he walks this earth.

But it was as if Taehyung didn't want to. The topic seemed to be a hot stove and Taehyung absolutely refused to touch it. No matter how many times Jungkook asked if Taehyung was okay, the older would just smile and nod his head or dry his tears after another breakdown and not say anything, turning to the usual solution of changing the subject.

Jungkook hadn't yet directly asked him if he was the cause of Taehyung's recent turmoil and change in demeanor, if it was the recent break up situation, if it was him and the members all together who were the cause. He didn't ask any of that, he quite frankly didn't know what to ask... or do. All he knew was to be there, love Taehyung immensely, lift up his mood, and refrain from pressuring him into anything. He was afraid that if he did, Taehyung would lose his mind.

Now, Jungkook wasn't worried about his own well being if Taehyung lost it, he was instead afraid of what Taehyung could do to himself. He couldn't even bear the thought of seeing Taehyung in more despair. It broke his heart every time. Above all else he could never in his life even think about the possibility of Taehyung hurting himself, Jungkook knew what that feeling could do to you. He had first hand experience and he never wanted Taehyung to know of what he had done to himself when he was at his worst in the beginning of the scandal, nor would he ever allow Taehyung to end up there himself. He would rather have Taehyung hurting him with everything he got than to ever see him in pain like that.

Nonetheless, Jungkook was lost. He didn't know what to do. He loved Taehyung, he ached for him and he was right there, Taehyung was right there. Then why did it feel like he wasn't? Jungkook just knew that it was his fault, he just had the gnawing feeling that it was the latest breakup and everything else really that posed as the final straw for the brunette. It must have been. Taehyung hadn't been the same, it was hard to explain in words.

Jungkook would try to do everything he could to stop Taehyung from succumbing into the darkness Jungkook so foolishly put him in.

But like he said, Taehyung was still Taehyung. He laughed with them, played around, danced, sang, cuddled, kissed and initiated love making with his boyfriend. But he also held a hollow feeling behind his eyes, he had constant mental breakdowns that he refused to explain, he was a bit more short tempered. He seemed more fragile. But... he was still Taehyung.

That's why it was so hard for Jungkook to say something. Was he supposed to ask his five hundred questions when Taehyung was having a breakdown? When he was laughing and joking around? When he was rambling about his day? When they were making love? Did Jungkook even have the right to open his mouth which had already caused so much -no, all the damage so far.

The younger had no idea what to do but wait for Taehyung to come to him, and god did he hope he would.

Taehyung said he trusted him, he just hoped it was true. But he also knew that if it wasn't, he had absolutely no right to feel heartbroken about it. Even if he couldn't control actually feeling that way. He had no right to question why Taehyung would claim to say he felt something he didn't. Jungkook just didn't have that right and he knew that, he was okay with it. It would hurt like hell, but he was going to take it.