She'll never love me the same

Remember her?

Heyy guyssss how are ya'll mentally?

 Anyways as always comment if you need clarification on anything!

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Xolani POV:

When I got into my class everyone turned their head thinking I was the teacher. I'm not surprised because our teacher who is also our dean never shows up until 10 minutes in. I sat in my seat put my headphones on and minded my business because apparently I always have to speak first... our teacher finally walked in and started the class it was literally a free period for the whole class. We didn't end up having a test the test because she forgot to make the test. I didn't bother texting Madison at the moment because She needs to pay attention to history. She doesn't need to be getting in trouble at all in that class. I was honestly ready to just eat I finally had an appetite this week and I wanted chipotle so badly.

The teacher dismisses the class.

Message thread with Madison:

Me: I  really want Chip tdy. 😓

Her: Chip? wtf is chip lani?

Her: ohhh chipotle, okay I did too, hurry to the front

Me: I'm abt to walk to the front of the building rn.
Me: Wait hold on my teacher wants to talk to me

"Hey uh Xolani can you hang back a sec"

"Okay"

Why would this man wait till the end of class to want to talk to me it's always some bull shit I swear...

"I wanted to talk to you about the paper that you wrote."

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Although you turned it in late it was a good paper and I'm so sorry that you felt that way after your sister passing"

"Oh thank you..."

"Oh and, Keep up the good work and continue turning in your work on time have a good lunch!"

"Okay thank you, you too"

Omniscient  Pov:

Xolani walked out of the classroom eyes watery fighting back letting them roll down her face. She doesn't ever really talk about her sister who passed. She honestly hasn't grieved over it yet either. This is the first time she cried talking about about her. Her little sister was only a couple of months old when she passed in her sleep. Xolani had such a soft spot for her little sister she used to rush home to see her every day after school. She would just sit and watch her and she had no complaints about her. Their birthdays are 11 days apart. At first, Xolani was a little annoyed by the fact she had yet another person to share that month with but when her sister was born all the annoyances went away. After she passed there was CPS involved and the Police thought her sister's mother and father poisoned her. Xolani and her other siblings almost got put into the system. That was the scariest part of her life. She never told anyone about the CPS stuff and only told Madison about her sister's passing. She honestly didn't want to broadcast the situation, yet she felt as though no one saw her or cared enough. Her sister's passing is what caused all of her addictions, anxiety, and depression.

She keeps walking towards the front doors of her school once she gets there she doesn't wait for Gisellana she just walks she has no clue to where but she just walks. She put on her headphones and was blasting Jill Scott. It stopped playing when she got a message from Gisellana.

Siri: Madison said "wya?"

Xolani put her music back on ignoring the message.

Siri: Madison said "Xolani frl???"

She played her music, once again ignoring the message.

Siri: Madison said-

Xolani opened her phone and muted Gisellana's messages. She had no plan on where she was going.

Xolani pov:

Madison keeps texting me and u can't deal with that rn it's too much on my mind. I ended up muting her msgs so I wouldn't see them at all. I don't know where I was walking to but I was walking fairly slowly down avenues making sure I was only two blocks over from the street my school is on so I'm not too far. I knew that wherever I was at 11:30 I had to head back to the school so I could walk back to school slowly but if I could t and had to walk normally I'd still have time. I ended up at a different Chipotle than normal I didn't go in tho. I went into 5 Below right next door, got their dollar candy bags paid, and left it was 11:32. While I walked back I remembered I had a cart on me I pulled it out of my book bag and took long drags. Jhene Aiko was playing and I felt at peace after like 10 drags I put it back in my hidden bag pocket. It was 11:50 and was only two blocks away from school. I tried to walk faster but everything around me started slowing down and my mouth was dry. The high was getting to me. At least I had study hall after this but I forgot it was with Madison she's gonna kill me. One for not responding to her and two I never told her I smoke.. and this is the highest I'm gonna be around her.

Madison pov:

Xo hasn't answered me back and I know she's not still talking with our dean because I just saw him leave. I keep texting her but she's not answering and after everything, she told me today I don't know what to think if she doesn't show up for study hall I'm gonna get really worried.

I didn't even get lunch I just went back inside and went to our spot waiting to see if she'd come. After abt 10 minutes which is now it's 11:30 I pull out my laptop to work. I got one assignment done but my anxiety was taking over at that point. It was now 11:50 I started to slowly pack up while my nerves got worse. Idk but I was just hoping she was in study hall. I grabbed up my bag and picked up my phone and headphones off the table and headed down the stairs.

I was one door down from my study hall and it felt like my chest was gonna explode. I open the door and look around I see my teacher first and say hi. Then I procede to my normal seat. She wasn't there... I was about to text her again.

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Heyyy guys so I finally got over stupid writers block 🤦🏽‍♀️. This took way longer than I expected 😭. I'm acc abt to start writing the next chapter it's gonna be kinda short ngl but uh yea comment, react, share! Pls 🙏🏾

Xoxo 🎀