An Archer's Promise

Chapter 59: So, as I pray...

Beta read by Shigiya and Fluffy Slayer

Very late, chapter ended up being longer than I had planned.

Next update is Broly.

Big thanks to Gamecrusher55 for helping me with Fate lore and basically being an amazing guide with the small details and overall nasuverse lore. You can find him and Fabled Life on Fanfiction if y'all need help or advice for possible fate stories you want to write in the future.

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-Feoh-

This was quite the predicament. 

A scenario he seldom encountered despite having served the Counter Force for an uncountable number of years. 

The earliest memories of his job were entwined with the death of countless souls, all succumbing at his hands, whether they be innocent or guilty — Yet as long as the primary threat was eliminated, the methods no longer mattered. The adage of sacrificing the few for the many became his guiding principle. A creed he inherited from his late adoptive father, a philosophy that prioritized the greater good over a few lives.

His former self would've vehemently rejected such a belief, driven solely by the imperative to save everyone, even at the cost of his life. Tasked with the constant duty of eliminating threats, the absence of satisfaction or joy only served to increase his regrets. Remorse continued to weigh him down like an anchor at sea, showing no signs of abating until it eventually engulfed him to the point of numbness. These factors, among many others, would have inevitably broken him. 

Yet when faced with the option to take another path that involved less bloodshed, he treaded on unfamiliar ground… a path that promised to be far more troublesome, inviting one trouble after the other without making it any easier for himself — but he did not regret it. He complained constantly but wouldn't have changed much if he had to redo it all over again, though perhaps he'd make sure to destroy the shard at the first given opportunity. 

Even without Alaya's support, he believed he had the capability of destroying this kingdom if given the opportunity. A few Broken Phantasm would suffice in finishing the job, even if the end result drained and overworked his Magical Circuits to the point of risking death. At least he would have gotten the job done, even though the price he paid was the death of all denizens in the area. 

‘Despite my wishes, I haven't given up on that plan yet. If all else fails then I'll continue to assume my role as a Counter Guardian.’ 

He hadn’t forgotten his promise to Rin, who was the main factor in pushing him to this course of action. But even Emiya knew that life wasn't so kind. He did not tell the girl that he'd stop, not that he even could in the first place, but just try… try his best to stop himself from breaking again. To keep his drive to save people going without getting overtaken by bitter anger and regret of the ideals that he followed. 

Yet no matter how much he tried to convince himself, the man said that nothing would change regardless of how hard he tried. Maybe not in a year, or a decade or even a century… but one day he knew he'd end up back where he started. Once again filled with anger and regret, willing to go to any length to undo his past actions while still committing atrocities in the process. For it wasn't wrong to help people, but living the life of a bound killing machine would break him once again. 

He would mechanically execute the duties of his role as a Counter Guardian, piling more weapons and bodies until he was back where he first started.