Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 12: Finally Clarity ~

Warning: This chapter contains a connection to previous sexual assault, but the actual act itself isn't described in detail. Decide for yourself if you want to read this chapter.

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And yeah, there it was again. It was right. Her feeling confirmed. A loud bang on the big heavy wooden door, followed by a clatter on the floor and footsteps that walked away very fast. Her smallest hope that it would be Viv was immediately swept away, she would not run away.

But hey, it was something. At least something had happened that might provide a little more clarity. Cautiously, with a little fear, she looked around the corner, again the same image in front of her as a few hours ago. Food and water, but no immediate sight of a note. A slight disappointment, because that was what she had hoped for. A note. A tip that might help her find a way out of this unreal situation.

She walked to the door, bent down and picked up a bag with what looked like nasi, a bag filled with apple, a wrapped cookie and a bottle of water, which had been pushed through the letterbox with force. But no note. 'Shit'. No note. No new insight. It had to be there, it couldn't be otherwise. Why wasn't there a note now?

'FUCK! NO, NO, NO! Why?'. Anger completely took over Beth, a state she didn't know of herself. She grabbed the pillow from the bed and threw it around. Her shoes turned into balls, which she started to throw around the house. A clump of hair in her hand, which she had pulled out of her head in anger and fear.

She searched the entire floor. The letterbox. She looked at the windows. Through the windows. Nothing. Nothing at all. No note, no presence. Nothing. No one. She had food, but had made no progress in getting any kind of grip on the situation.

She decided to eat now that the food was still warm. Again, doubt struck. To eat or not to eat? But she had to, knowing that nothing would be repeated, now that a note was missing. Maybe this was the last time she would get food. She had no influence, not at all, something she absolutely didn't appreciate.

With difficulty she got her food down, almost gagging she shoved it down mouthful by mouthful. She looked at the clock, showing 10.30pm. Almost 12 hours, almost 12 hours she had been part of this unreal situation. For 12 hours she had not known where Viv was or how she was doing. For 12 hours she had been living in ignorance. And how much longer would it last? She didn't know.

Once again she collapsed onto the bed, thinking about Viv. What could she be doing right now? Where could she be? Who was she with now? Her head was spinning, she couldn't lie still. Her thoughts kept shifting from one scenario to the next. All sorts of things went through her mind, but what she needed so badly, peace, overview and control, was nowhere to be found.

And then? When she almost fell asleep against her will, there was another bang. She was startled and sat up stiffly. Was it true? Would a note come after all? Or was it perhaps Viv? She was scared now, because it had only been two hours since the last banging, while the last time had been at least 5 hours apart.

Still, she walked to the door, too curious about what was waiting for her this time. Very carefully she stuck her head through the bedroom door again, but she saw nothing. No food, no drink? But she had definitely heard a knock, right? Or was she dreaming? Had she wanted it so badly that she would now hear things that weren't there at all?

Step by step she walked to the door, where happiness took over. There on the doormat it lay, wrapped in a white envelope. A letter. A letter after all? Just a letter? Nothing else this time? She picked it up and ran her finger over it. She felt an abrupt tingling sensation in her stomach.