Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 59: Miracle or Heartbreak? ~

Five weeks later

The past five weeks have probably been the longest weeks of their entire lives. The past five weeks have been spent in a bubble, at home, mostly sitting on the couch, with a few walks in the park. With the Christmas break approaching, all the rumours and scenarios about why Beth and Viv had missed almost half a football season and why they were so absent from social media became a bigger part of the conversation on all platforms, while social media was probably the last thing on their minds.

But still they had heard it, more rumors about the fact that Beth would abuse Viv. That they were now in the middle of a whole legal process. That Beth was simply in jail and Viv would be somewhere in a hospital recovering from all the punches and kicks that Beth had given her. Beth didn't care about it, had gotten over the fact that those people would never stop criticizing. Although, those were Beth's words, Viv definitely knew it was affecting her, so they spent hours together on the couch, cuddling in each other's arms. 

For Viv it was more difficult, those negative voices wanted to enter her head again. But still, she managed to give the positive thoughts that she had been holding on to for a while now the upper hand over the negative voices that wanted to enter her head.

And then there was also a lot of uncertainty at home. The atmosphere that hung around the fact whether or not Beth was pregnant yet, whether they were still living in the fantasy of being pregnant, or whether Beth was really pregnant, was a nervous, but also beautiful atmosphere. It felt good, a feeling of gratitude to be able to experience this so intimately together. But it also made them anxious, would it remain a fantasy or were they already living in the reality of pregnancy?

Today that question would be answered. Today they would finally know whether the dream of a mini-Viv would remain a fantasy forever or whether they had already been living in the reality of a pregnancy for these five weeks. They had both slept very little last night, the tension that came with today was too high to even fall asleep. Normally they would both be grumpy, but last night, cuddling in each other's arms, whispering sweet nothings, had made for a good mood despite the lack of sleep. But the nerves were higher than ever, the car ride quieter than ever before.

Beth seemed to feel it, had the idea that she just felt herself pregnant, but drawing conclusions from feelings hasn't really been a success, thinking back to the trauma and the consequences, which they still have to deal with to this day. She absolutely didn't dare to say it to Viv. That she really had the idea that it had worked, that she really seemed to feel that something was changing in her body. What if it had not been so? Worse, what if something had gone completely wrong that had consequences for Beth?

But now they were back in the doctor's treatment room, now was the moment that would put an end to all the scenarios that had been discussed in the past few weeks. The answer would finally come. Beth had taken a seat on the treatment table, the gel had been applied to her stomach. The screen hadn't yet been turned towards them, the screen only visible to the doctor. Viv's hand was firmly clamped in hers. Viv's other hand slowly rubbed her forehead.

She looked to the side for a moment, to see what Viv's current state was. The only thing she saw from Viv's eyes was anxiety, pure fear of what was to come. 'You okay, honey?'. A tremor shot through Viv's body. 'Not until I know what the situation is, I think'. The doctor decided to quickly take action and placed the ultrasound device on Beth's stomach. Again Beth felt the feeling coming, the feeling that she was simply pregnant. Somewhere she seemed to feel a tiny lump, which the doctor slid over with the device.

He looked at the screen, while he slowly rubbed the ultrasound device over Beth's stomach. Viv could only stare at the ultrasound machine that slowly maneuvered over Beth's belly. Suddenly that feeling was gone for Beth, she suddenly felt more insecure than ever, a knot forming in her stomach. The only thing she looked at was the doctor's face, who seemed to be getting more and more serious. Was her fear a reality after all? Had she felt it wrong and was it just the released embryo that she felt wandering around in her belly? Was that the lump she felt?