Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 25: Breakdown! ~

Three hours have passed, three long hours. Beth's eyes haven't looked away from the door for three hours. She has not known anything for three hours, she is waiting in anxiety and has to deal with the disappointment every time the door is opened, but it turns out not to be Viv's doctor. It takes a long time, so long that she is on the point of just running through the door, to look for Viv herself, to find the answers to all those questions that are haunting her head.

Alone, with Katie, the two of them, still in the waiting room, all the other visitors already informed of the situation of their loved one. But not Beth, and not Katie either. They are still sitting here, waiting for that one moment. That one moment when the door opens and Viv's name is called. That moment when all those questions will finally be answered. But what if it's bad news?

Meanwhile, the clock showed that it was almost 10pm, already well into the evening, and so it was time to really have something to eat. Katie wanted to, but how was she going to convince Beth to eat? She had tried several times, but she got nothing back. Every now and then an almost unintelligible: 'No, I'm not hungry' or 'I'll have it later', but otherwise nothing came out of Beth.

But Katie had to do something, knowing that Beth herself had also suffered from a slight food shortage, which fortunately could be treated and resolved on the spot in the ambulance, but it must not happen again, of course she was still vulnerable. So she stood up and looked at Beth, who didn't move, not an inch, and continued to stare at the door.

'Beth, I'm going to get us some food. You haven't eaten anything in so long. You really need to eat something, even though I know how hard it is for you. But you have to be strong, in case you have news about Viv later. You can't get a food shortage again, because then you will have to be treated yourself and you won't be able to see Viv when you are allowed to'.

Again, not a muscle moved in Beth's face, just a very soft "Mhhh" that left her mouth, without emotion, without anything to be understood. The sign that Beth was far too deep in her thoughts to have a proper conversation. The sign that she had no desire to do anything other than stare at the door.

So Katie went, walking to the exit of the waiting room. She looked back one more time. Could she leave Beth here alone? Was it safe enough to leave her? What if the doctor suddenly walked in while she was getting food? What if Beth suddenly had a panic attack here? What if the doctor came in and she could tell straight away by his face that it was bad news, that they hadn't been able to save Viv and that she would have to go through a complete heartbreak here, alone in the presence of the doctor, without any support from anyone she knew?

All sorts of scenarios raced through her mind, but somehow she knew she had to, that there was no other option. That it was her job to take care of Beth now, no matter how much she would resist. Somehow she knew Beth would be grateful for being with her now, even if she would explode in anger in a few minutes when Katie would force her to eat something.

So she walked away, to the restaurant, as fast as she could, constantly thinking about what might be going on with Beth right now. Thank God luck was on her side, no line, the food was ready in 7 minutes and the hospital was no longer crowded, so she could move around easily, be near Beth again quickly.

She had been gone for exactly 9 minutes and 14 seconds, and still no change in Beth. Still the same position, still staring at the door, even when Katie walked in, no reaction, no movement, nothing at all. It seemed to her that Beth was in a trance, so deep, that she even began to doubt Beth's mental health. She had to change this, knowing how deeply Beth can be sucked into her thoughts. And now even more so, knowing that those thoughts can be anything but good.

She sat down next to Beth again, in the chair where she had been sitting for the past three hours and placed the tray on her lap, 2 cups of juice, two bottles of water, 2 plates of loaded fries to give her a good amount of calories, so that she would at least not have a food shortage anymore. Besides, the football season was over anyway, so they didn't have to be so strict about their food choices. And two desserts, two puddings.