Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 50: Progress in Challenge ~

Already 7 weeks... It has been seven weeks since the trauma. Today is a day with a highlight, today Viv is allowed to stop taking her pain medication for her ribs. She would finally get rid of the nausea and vomiting. Finally she would be able to start building her life again like she lived 7 weeks ago, before the trauma. 

The more rest would finally begin. The sleepless nights in which Viv only vomits and Beth as a personal nurse continuously helps her to the bathroom, or Beth who changes the bed four times a night when Viv couldn't reach the toilet in time, would from now on be exchanged for nights full of sleep.

Today it has been three days since the visit to the therapist, and today it was finally time for Beth, today she would take the first steps towards actually learning to leave Viv alone. The first step that Lotte had formulated for her, having someone present when she had to leave for a while, she had actually already secretly worked on. Actually right away, in the hospital, when she went to get coffee with Carolien and when she went for a walk with her. So to take another step further, she would move on to step 2 today.

She was nervous, Viv could clearly see that. Viv had gone to lie down in a corner on the couch, as she always does on Saturday mornings, unless they have a match. Before the trauma, she was actually always the one who woke up first, the one who left the bedroom first to let Beth lie down for a while. And then usually, about half an hour later, Beth would walk into the living room with a sleepy head, to nestle on top of Viv and close her eyes for a while, sometimes just to rest and sometimes she would actually fall asleep.

Viv loved it, this was the moment she had been looking forward to all week. Only since the trauma it had changed, she was less often the one who woke up first, Beth couldn't nestle on top of her on the couch. But still, there was finally a moment again when it would come close to how it used to be.

Because Beth came walking in from the bedroom, still in her pyjamas, her hair messy and her eyes still quite sleepy. 'Hey liefie. Did you sleep well?'. All Beth did was nod and instead of nestling on Viv, she nestled next to Viv, her head lying on Viv's shoulder. She closed her eyes, in an attempt to maybe get some more sleep.

But no, Viv could feel it in everything. Beth wasn't as relaxed as she normally was with her. Her breathing wasn't as calm as it normally was. Beth wasn't as calm as she normally put her hand on Viv's stomach. Her legs were shaking against her, not lying calmly, as they normally were. She wasn't her relaxed self, anxiety seemed to be present in her body.

'Lieverd, you okay?'. Beth looked up, a soft hum left her mouth. 'I asked if you were okay'. Beth shrugged her shoulders, but said nothing more, the sign for Viv that something was going on. 'Schatje... Come here'. Viv threw her free arm around Beth's waist and slowly rubbed her back with both hands.

Immediately the tears came, she buried her face in Viv's shoulder and cried. 'I'm scared Viv. What if something happens to you? I don't want to feel like I'm losing you again'. Viv had secretly seen it coming a little, today would be the moment when Beth would go to the supermarket to get some groceries. It would take twenty minutes max, but it would be a big step. 'Hey lieverd... it's okay. You're allowed to be nervous. It's a big step.' All Beth did was burrow deeper into Viv.

The room where Viv had been lying in silence a few minutes ago, now filled with Beth's sobs that kept coming. Part of Viv felt guilty, she wanted to tell Beth not to do it yet, that they would call Katie to do the shopping if Beth was freaking out at the thought of leaving her home. But she knew she had to, that procrastination in therapy is anything but desirable.

And then, just as Viv was about to reassure her, the crying stopped and Beth started talking. 'Do you mind if I go to the supermarket first before we have breakfast? Then I've had it done. And maybe I can bring something nice for breakfast'. Of course Viv was there, who immediately agreed, but who also didn't want Beth to push herself beyond her own boundaries. 'Of course liefje, do what feels right for you. But I want you to calm down a bit before you go. Okay? Just stay with me for a little while, catch your breath, and then you go. Okay?'.