Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 58: The Biggest Challenge ~

Finally, the time has come, a week after receiving that bad news, today will finally be the day. Today is the appointment with the doctor on the schedule to start the first steps in the IVF process. They woke up early, at 6.30am, their nerves sky high. Today the treatment would start, today they would check whether the quality of Viv's eggs is still sufficient to be fertilized and then Beth would have to start medication to be prepared for a possible pregnancy. But would that be the case? Would the miracle come true? Or was the next heartbreak imminent?

'Vivi, you ready to go baby?'. At that exact moment Viv walked out of the bedroom, staring at Beth. 'Yeah, I think so'. Beth could hear in her voice that Viv was very nervous, so she walked over to her and brought her into a hug. 'Hmmm, it's okay to be nervous Vivi. I'm too'. A small chuckle left Viv's mouth. 'Yeah, okay. I'm nervous. I just really hope that soon, in this nice warm place, a little one will be growing'. Viv's hands slid from Beth's back, under her t-shirt, to her belly. 'Hmmm, we will see Vivi. We're doing everything we can. Come on let's go'. She rose on her toes and placed her lips against Viv's, followed by a dabbing kiss full of passion.

They walked into the hospital hand in hand, more nervous than ever. Viv had completely prepared herself for it to work, had only been fantasizing. So, oh how Beth hoped that there were still some eggs of sufficient quality, that there was still a chance of a mini-Viv. That her dream wouldn't fall apart again. Because what state will Viv end up in if today suddenly turns out to be bad news? 

They both took a seat in the waiting room, Viv's hand trembling in Beth's. 'Relax baby. It's going to be okay. Whatever the news is, we'll be fine. I'm proud of you anyway and I will always love you, no matter what the outcome will be today.' All Viv did was nod, she seemed more likely to cry than to laugh. It suddenly seemed as if Viv had also come to the realization that a pregnancy was not guaranteed, that it would be a very difficult process, with certainly no 100% chance of success. That all those fantasies about how she saw the pregnancy with a mini-Viv growing in Beth's belly, might just remain fantasies. Once again she seemed to be drowning in thoughts, but luckily the doctor was there, who took them to his treatment room.

They took their seats in the treatment room, which looked a bit different than usual, suddenly there was an ultrasound machine, an injection was ready, suddenly it felt very real. Of course they had prepared themselves for this moment, but now it suddenly came very close. Now it was really going to happen, the road to their big dream would actually start today. 'So Beth, Viv, it's nice to see you again. How are you feeling?'.

Viv could barely contain her nerves and answered immediately, the anxiety clearly audible in her voice. 'I almost feel like I'm dying of nerves. I've never been so nervous in my life'. Beth immediately grabbed her hand, Viv's accelerated breathing and rattling were already a sign to Beth that Viv was even more nervous than she actually thought. She slowly rubbed her thumb over Viv's hand, she had to calm her down, knowing what might still happen to Viv today.

'And you Beth?'. Beth felt the grip on her hand loosen a little, knowing that Viv, despite her nerves, was now trying to put her at ease. 'I'm nervous too, but I'm mostly completely ready to get started'. Before they actually started taking the first steps, the doctor made it clear that there are of course a few more risks to getting pregnant via IVF, but Beth didn't care for a second. If something happened, like pregnancy poisoning or terrible nausea, she would deal with it later. This was her only chance to make Viv's big dream come true, she would do anything for it.

The patience of both was tested quite a bit, with everything that had to be discussed first and all the risks that the doctor was obliged to mention. But then, half an hour later, it was finally time to take the actual first steps, which once again brought up lots of anxiety in both of them.