Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 17: Pure Bullying ~

How? How is she going to get out of this house? The question that ran through her mind for the rest of the afternoon. Door closed, windows closed, there seemed to be no way out. No way she could escape from this house. Phone stolen, key stolen, nothing seemed to be able to help her.

But still... Still, Beth had found the courage to keep searching. Where she had found that courage remained a mystery. Was it Viv's words that gave her courage? Was it the answers to the questions she seemed to have? Because whether they were actually the answers she thought they were, was unclear and she didn't know for sure.

It doesn't matter. Beth had courage, the courage to keep going, to keep fighting for her freedom, for Viv's freedom, holding on to the idea that she would soon be able to hold her in her arms again. That the situation would soon come to an end.

Oh, poor Viv. She thought about her. What was happening right now? Was she going to have to endure those horrors again? Was she sleeping? Was she really where Beth thought she was? Was she still in the same location? Was she still alive? Had Viv given up hope and was she slowly heading towards death?

No, not that. Definitely not. She knew for sure that Viv would not give up hope. Viv would never abandon her, like Daan had abandoned her. Viv would always continue to fight for Beth, knowing the immense pain Daan had caused her by not doing so. Viv would do everything she could to stay with Beth, like Daan had not.

She had to keep going. She had to keep looking, for that one hint, that one clue, that little detail that would set her free. She knew it was somewhere, that somewhere was the way to the exit. But whether it was already here, or whether it would still come, she didn't know.

She searched every drawer, every cupboard was emptied, every chair was turned over, everything was examined. But nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing that could help her. Again she picked up the pan, again she rammed it against the window, as she had done so many times before. But nothing, absolutely nothing. Not a crack in the window to be seen, not even a small scratch.

'FUCKKKKKK'. She slammed the pan onto the floor, her head glistening with sweat. Why? Why was there nothing that could help her? Why did so much seem to be clear, but she couldn't escape?

She thought back to the good times, at home with Viv on the couch, when she would lie with her head on Viv's chest, arguing about what movie they were going to watch. Why had she never agreed when Viv suggested that they should watch an action movie? Why had she never agreed when Viv suggested that they should watch a horror movie?

Why hadn't she done that? If only she had agreed once... Once, to a proposal for a film with this type of genre. Then she would know... Then she would know how to escape from this house. In a hundred thousand different ways, people in this type of film escaped from situations in which they were locked up.

But no, she was too stubborn, had said 'no' to all the times Viv had suggested watching a film in these genres. And now? Now it was her comeuppance, she couldn't escape from this house. She had no idea how. She hadn't gotten any inspiration from those hundred films Viv had suggested.

She plopped down on the chair, a moment of rest. She had to pull herself together, knowing that something had to be there, or something would come. She had to focus on something else for a moment, wash away all the stimuli of today.

Shower. She went to shower. Rinse everything off her, hoping for a fresh start. Her hand slowly got a grip on the oil, the oil Viv had last rubbed on her. A single tear left her eye, remembering Viv leaning against her, Viv's hands rubbing her body. Another single tear from her other eye, remembering her leaning against Viv with all her weight. Another tear, rolling from her other eye, remembering Viv rubbing the shampoo into her hair with her talented hands.