Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 71: A Cry for Help ~

It took Beth a moment to muster up the courage to even go to Viv. But she knew she had to, she had been the one to cause this fight, so now she had to solve it herself. She hadn't felt this bad in a long time, Viv's sobs, still audible, were heartbreaking. Why couldn't she have just kept her hot temper under control? She knew Viv hadn't meant it in a bad way for a second, but she was the one who put that spin on it. She got up from her chair, eager to comfort Viv. But at that moment she felt something strange, a stab, right where she last wanted it at this moment, in her belly.

She had of course already felt the baby rumbling a bit, with every scream that had filled the office a few minutes ago, the baby seemed to move a little more. But this wasn't a normal movement, this was really more of a painful movement. Was it really going to be the case that because of the anger that had taken over her, that she had expressed at Viv, while it was actually those men who had made her angry, that things would now go completely wrong with the baby?

She wanted to take a step, but again a pain shot through her belly, and this time also through her lower back, which forced her to lie down on the floor. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. She sank to her knees, and fell to her side. She lay there on the ground, without help, without anyone to notice, pushing away the pain. It didn't feel good at all, she needed help and she needed it fast. She started screaming, hoping someone would hear her, but were her screams heard over Viv's cries?

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She had run away, she had done exactly what Beth had asked her to do, no matter how hard it was. Oh, how she hoped that Beth would actually recover, that she would somehow find the courage to keep fighting. And how she especially hoped that Beth didn't think she was angry with her. Of course she was annoyed that Beth had snapped at her like that, but she couldn't be angry about it, because somewhere Viv knew that Beth had absolutely no control over what she just said.

But the fact that she wasn't angry with Beth didn't mean that she wasn't deeply affected by the words Beth said. It hurt to hear how Beth felt about her, how she felt about the situation. It felt strange to suddenly feel so unloved by the person she loves the most and gives everything for. She walked back to Kim, tears rolling down her cheeks. As soon as she got back to Kim and Liam's office, all that panic came loose, she literally went into a panic attack. Her breathing quickened and she started to cry, she had never cried so hard before. And where was the person she most wanted to comfort her? The one who always knew how to make her feel better? Right, it was the one who caused all this.

She suddenly felt like that good-for-nothing again, that Viv who was always so difficult, who could never do anything that others wanted her to do, never did what others needed from her at this moment. Again, this was something Lisa always told her, that she was really useless to her. And now with Beth... Was that going to happen to Beth now? Was she also worthless to Beth now?

She was exhausted, really exhausted. Kim had placed her arms around her and hugged her. She just let her cry for a while. Kim also knew that besides the fact that these were tears because of Beth's argument, it was also just that Viv's boundaries had been crossed. That everything that was happening to Viv now had also taken its toll.

'Try to calm down Viv, it's all part of the process. Take your time to process this. Things will really work out between you and Beth'. Viv kept crying, she really felt like a sunken wreck at the moment, but she also knew that she was allowed to cry, that this was perfectly possible in the presence of Kim and Liam, who were trained in this.

Very slowly, minute by minute, her tears seemed to diminish a little, now and then only a few sobs came out, but she seemed to get her breathing under control again. And then suddenly she heard something, through her tears. A sound that was very familiar to Viv. The sound that she had engraved so firmly in her memory that she could distinguish it from all other kinds of sounds. She heard the screams very softly, the words seemed to slowly gain meaning. Suddenly she heard her name, followed by crying that really seemed to come from the room she was in a few minutes ago. 'Fuck'. This was not just any sound, this was Beth.