Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 31: Long Night Ahead ~

With everything that had happened, it was already quite late. By now the clock showed that it was already 1pm, Katie had been gone for about 1.5 hours, which would mean that she would now be on her way back to the hospital. Viv was already very deeply asleep, actually from the moment Carolien had picked up, much to Beth's gratitude, because a sleeping Viv meant a recovering Viv.

Beth's hand was still lying in Viv's, which now even caused sweat to form between their hands because of all the tension that had built up during the conversation with Carolien. But Beth couldn't let go, absolutely not. Somehow it still felt unreal that they were now freed from their suffering. She had been so convinced that they would never be freed from this situation, so letting go of Viv now was still a few steps too far.

But... There was a very big "but"... She had just promised Carolien that she would also take care of herself. She had promised Katie that she would take good care of herself, so she had to go to sleep somehow. Actually, she was dead tired, but with all the adrenaline pumping through her body, sleep still seemed far away.

She stared at the minutes on the clock, waiting for the moment that Katie would walk in again. Waiting until she could give all the stuff a place here, to make it feel a little bit like home. To make it a little cozy for Viv, and for herself, knowing that she wouldn't be home much in the coming month.

Or maybe not?'No, No, No, wait. I can't. Fuck, I can't do that'. Suddenly all kinds of thoughts shot through Beth's head again when she thought about where she was going to put all the stuff here to make it feel a bit like home. But she couldn't do it, had to put it somewhere else than it was at home. The last time she had put something down so it felt like home, which was in that cottage on the edge of the forest, something terrible had happened afterwards. So now certain things had to be put somewhere else than usual. From that moment on, without Beth realizing it herself, it was clear that not only Viv's, but also Beth's mental rehabilitation would take quite some time.

Beth had meanwhile grabbed her phone again, which she held firmly in one hand and in the other hand she still had Viv's hand, which she occasionally rubbed with her thumb. Lacking the motivation to do anything other than sit and hold Viv's hand, she decided to check her social media.

Thank God there was nothing about this whole situation online yet, she had not been tagged anywhere, yes in those hundreds of 'Meadema Edits', which she occasionally scrolls through, but fortunately not in a news report, press release or newspaper article. And she hoped that this would be like that for a long time.

Because as long as the media didn't know anything, she didn't have to speak to anyone. She wasn't ready to tell this story to all kinds of journalists who wanted to investigate the whole situation, she didn't have the energy to be constantly approached on the street and she certainly didn't want to leave Viv, which would have to happen if she had to do all kinds of interviews.

'Fuck'. This was something she hadn't thought about at all. What the impact of everything that happened would be on their daily lives. Whether they would ever be looked at normally again. Whether they would ever be addressed as Beth and Viv, instead of as the two who had been kidnapped, held hostage or raped. Tears were almost forming in Beth's eyes as she thought of all kinds of scenarios that could play out in the media in the near future.

Luckily there was Viv, who even in her sleep picked up every signal from her wife. Who even while she was asleep, could feel from Beth's hand that she was not at ease, that something was going on in her head that couldn't be anything good. Very carefully, with soft groans of pain, Viv turned her head to change position, but mainly to put Beth at ease. 'It's okay, liefje'. With her eyes closed, without seeing or hearing anything from Beth, she had spoken to her.