Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 67: Lonely Christmas Ahead? ~

Two weeks later

They were still at Katie's and Cailtin's. They were still living in a world of uncertainty, of ambiguity. Those men were still free somewhere in the world. But where? No trace of these men had been seen in the past two weeks, not at their house, not anywhere in St Albans, not anywhere near St Albans. Could they have fled somewhere? Or were they just so close, but so well hidden?

By now they had gotten used to the new normal, to living indoors, to only seeing family and friends via phone or laptop. It really felt like living in a bubble, which of course they had hoped for with the pregnancy, living in a bubble, but definitely not in this type of bubble. They were often alone at home, Katie and Caitlin simply had to train almost every day.

Fortunately, to their great gratitude, everything went well with their baby. Beth managed to keep her stress and panic under control enough so that it wouldn't be harmful to the baby. Yes absolutely, there were times when Viv had to reassure her. Every little sound like the one she heard in the forest house, every shadow or movement that even resembled something she saw in the forest house, seemed to cause stress. All those steps she had taken in her mental rehabilitation, were once again crushed to the ground. 

Still, there was a visible change in Beth, not really a positive one. Suddenly there seemed to be a change, suddenly the pregnancy hormones now also seemed to make her react a bit more fiercely than necessary. Sometimes about very small things, like Viv not closing the shampoo bottle for example. Sometimes about big things, like them not being able to do anything else here than lie on a couch. And here and there also really an occasional sneer at Viv, when she means something well, but that doesn't sit well with Beth. But Viv being calm herself, let it go for a while, decided not to worry about it too much. To now start arguing with Beth over the smallest things was anything but what they needed right now.

With Viv it remained different, she wasn't afraid herself, wasn't afraid of those men. The only thing she was afraid of was that the stress Beth had would become too much for her, that too much stress would arise for Beth, which would cause their baby to not do well. It remained her number one priority, to pamper Beth completely to ensure that her stress level was as low as possible.

But today it was different, today Beth had already gotten up a bit gloomy, she was even more clingy than usual, she seemed to want to close the distance every time Viv walked away from her, she gave Viv more kisses than usual. And not that Viv complained, she loved clingy Beth, but it was also a sign, the sign that something was going on with Beth.

And now seemed like a good time to ask her, now that Katie and Cailtin were packing their suitcase in the bedroom to go to Ireland for a long weekend. The Christmas break was in full swing anyway, so for them this was one of the few moments they could go and see their family. It took a lot of effort to convince Katie and Cailtin to just go with the situation at hand, that they should just go and see their family and that they would be fine together.

Beth had snuggled up against her again, her head on Viv's chest again, her other hand on Viv's other breast. Viv had placed her arm around her and occasionally gave her a kiss on the head, to which Beth responded by snuggling closer to her. By now she was almost 18 weeks pregnant, her baby bump had grown a little bit again, and Viv had once again placed her hand on the slightly larger belly than two weeks ago.

Viv decided to ask now, because she didn't know when Katie and Caitlin would come back to the living room. 'Liefje, why are you so down today? What's wrong?'. Viv felt Beth press her head into her chest a little harder, felt Beth turn her head so that her mouth landed on Viv's shirt. And then she mumbled something, something unintelligible.

'What did you say liefje? I couldn't hear you'. Beth turned her head slightly to the side, so that she could be heard a little more by Viv. 'Nothing'. Viv knew that it would be a difficult task to get Beth to talk about what was bothering her, but decided not to give up. 'Lieverd, hey. You know that I always know exactly how you feel. That I can tell from your sad face that something is wrong. I want to help you lieverd. That's why I want to know what's wrong'.