Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 43: Memories for Life ~

With the nurse having left the room and Viv already completely ready for the night, Beth decided to get herself ready for the night. She calmly changed, brushed her teeth and put on her night cream, She even seemed to be humming softly a little, which Viv took as a sign that Beth had finally gotten back into some relaxation mode. Viv herself had all sorts of thoughts running through her head.

She had been thinking about it the whole time, during dinner, during the shower, about that one idea that would help them fill the cracks in their hearts. Something that would help them come to terms with the thoughts about Viv dying. Only now had they realised how grateful they actually are for each other, how lucky they have been, what a beautiful life they have built together.

Only now did they realize how much they normally live in a rollercoaster. It's always getting up, having breakfast, training, lunch, training, going home, eating, and going to bed. Often an interview here and there, some volunteer work in between, but actually so little time for each other. Of course they had evenings when they sometimes lay in each other's arms on the couch, they had nights that were very cozy, but above all they always lived in haste, in rhythm.

Now they had realized that they should be grateful for the time they had together. Now they had realized that time together could also suddenly come to an end, as they had thought so often in the past few days. Now it was time to start appreciating things more, and that was exactly what Viv's idea was based on, to process this experience and to fill the cracks in their hearts again.

There was Beth again, her wife, completely ready to have a quiet, and especially not too long evening. Once again gratitude shot through her, that she still had her wife. That she had kept fighting for her. That she had not given up. The fact that she can simply call Beth her wife is something she is prouder of than anything else.

'Hey Vivi, do you want to go to sleep or can I come and lie with you for a while? And before you answer that question, be honest!'. Viv was of course eager to carry out her plan and immediately moved over a bit. 'You can always come and lie with me, liefie'. A small smile appeared on Beth's face, who had hoped so much that Viv would indeed make this choice.

As soon as Viv was lying comfortably, Beth climbed into bed with her. In exactly the same position as earlier that day. Her hand resting on Viv's bare tights, which she gently rubbed over. Viv's arm was placed very carefully around Beth, her hand resting on Beth's arm, which she rubbed with her fingertips. They lay there in silence, just enjoying the touches of each other. For Viv, this was the moment, it was now or never. Now was the moment when she had to present her idea to Beth.

'Lieverd, I've been thinking about this afternoon's conversation. About how we can fill the cracks in our hearts. I think I have an idea'. Beth immediately became enthusiastic when Viv said this, knowing that Viv's ideas are actually always brilliant. 'I'm curious Vivi'. Viv's hand carefully reached for Beth's free hand, to hold it, needing another touch with her wife.

'I was briefly reflecting on our lives and I actually came to the realization that we live in quite a rollercoaster. That we really have a kind of rhythm of getting up, eating, training, eating, training, eating, sleeping, to describe it briefly. And I actually think that we should make more space and time for each other. For us, to be able to invest in our happiness. I don't mean that I'm not happy now, far from it. I just think that we should appreciate our lives more, be more grateful for all the moments that we can experience together. So I thought, maybe it's a good idea to look back at the memories that we have made every night before we go to bed. Maybe we will come across memories that we had actually already forgotten or paid too little attention to, but that secretly mean so much to us. What do you think about that?'.