Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 73: Soft Conversation ~

'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'. She opened her phone and immediately felt a huge guilt and panic roll over her. On the home screen was Beth's contact, with 13 missed calls and 1 very long unread message. 'Shit'. She slapped her hand against her head. She had told Beth that she could call her if she needed her. And now, now that Beth had needed her, she hadn't answered, she was far too busy trying to find a safe place.

God, what must Beth be feeling right now? She was so afraid that something would happen to Viv, that these men would somehow get a hold of her and do something to her again. She felt so stupid, Beth's stress level had to go down for the sake of her and their baby's health, but the opposite was happening. Beth now had the stress of what Viv was up to on top of her own. And whose fault was that? Viv's. Why had she put her phone on silent?

She decided to open her unread messages first. And to her great gratitude, she saw that Beth was still online, so she probably also saw that the gray check marks changed to blue check marks. She had now received the confirmation that Viv was indeed still alive. That she actually still had her phone with her and was therefore somewhere where it was safe enough to text her now. But the message that Beth had sent her did make her feel a guilty.

Vivi, why haven't I heard from you? Can you please let me know? I'm worried about you. I'm really upset that I can't be with you right now. If you read this, will you please call me or text me back? God Viv, it's been almost an hour and I haven't heard anything. Every time my phone vibrates I hope it's you, but it's not. Viv please, check your phone. I promise I'm not mad at you anymore, I really am. I'm so sorry I snapped at you. Vivi, please. I need you. I need to know that you're safe. I don't know what I would do without you Vivi. I love you so much. Please, let me know' – xxxxx Beth.

It hurt Viv to read that Beth was worried that Viv was still mad at her, that the fight that had happened might be the reason why she hadn't responded to all of Beth's texts, when that was the last reason she hadn't responded. She was so busy making sure she had a safe place for herself, and soon for Beth, that she didn't think about her phone for a second. She decided not to respond, but to just call Beth back right away.

She decided to start a video call, so Beth could get the immediate confirmation that Viv was inside somewhere, and not wandering around on the streets. The phone didn't even have time to beep, because Beth immediately appeared on the screen, tears rolling down her cheeks.

'Hey liefje, I'm here. Take it easy. I'm so sorry'. Beth nearly choked on her tears, which only seemed to get worse when she saw Viv. 'Vivi, I was so worried. I thought those men had gotten you and that I would never see you again. You said I could call you and that you would pick up, right? Viv, I really thought that I lost you'.

The guilt Viv felt only grew bigger and bigger, the fact that the tears that were now leaving Beth's eyes and the panic she was in were caused by her not having let Beth know anything, hurt her. 'I'm so so sorry lieverd. I'm so sorry I didn't answer the phone, it was on silent and I was so busy looking for a safe place, that I didn't think about my phone at all. What can I do to comfort you?'.

There was silence from Beth's side, only her sobs could be heard, which seemed to slowly become a little quieter. 'I don't know Viv. I'm glad I don't have to wait in fear anymore to hear from you, but I was so scared. I really thought those men had you or that you were still secretly angry with me'.

Viv felt a new crack in her heart because the fight had apparently affected her more than Viv had expected. 'Liefje, I promise you that I am absolutely not mad at you anymore. We will talk about it tomorrow okay. And I'm safe. I am now in the police shelter and I promise you that for the next two weeks I will look for a safe place for us, because I don't want you to have to go here. I have a private room here, so no one will see me here'.