Trauma of the Forest (Meadema)

~ Chapter 39: The Spoken Truth ~

Warning: mentions of raping, but it isn't discussed in detail. 

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After an amazing lunch, consisting of sandwiches with freshly baked eggs, which they both could really use to get stronger, it was quiet in the room. They both knew what was coming, but neither had the "guts" to start talking about it. Beth had settled between Viv's legs, leaning against the back of Viv's bed, bringing them face to face. This way they were close to each other, they could look at each other, but they also had some distance from each other, to give each other space to talk.

Beth nervously started playing with her fingers, as she always does when she is nervous. Viv on the other hand started biting her nails, which was her natural reaction when she is nervous. If they both hadn't been completely sucked into the situation and the impact of everything that happened hadn't been so extreme, this conversation could have been postponed for a while. But if they wanted to help and support each other in their mental rehabilitation, this conversation had to take place as soon as possible.

They had two hours left before June and Rich would be here and Beth had received a text from Renee and Carolien that they would stay in town for a while to give Beth and Viv some time together, so they now had enough time to briefly discuss the first things about what exactly happened, what steps had been taken. It was now time to actually know exactly what the other had been through. They had to be each other's therapist in this situation, knowing that talking to a stranger about this would be a far too big step for now. And besides, talking to each other seemed to be the safest option there was, but the threshold to start talking was sky high.

With Carolien's words still fresh in her mind, Beth decided to start talking. 'Uhmmm... I think it's good to talk things out, don't you think? Do you want to start or should I start?'. Viv looked up and saw the fear and emotion in Beth's face. She was the one who had already spoken the first word, so Viv decided that she had to be brave and start the conversation herself.

'I will start'. Beth immediately leaned forward to hold Viv's hands as a sign of support, whose cuticles were almost bleeding by now of all the tension. 'Proud of you baby'. A deep breath left Viv's mouth before she started talking. 'I knew it... Beth, I knew it'. 

What? What was this?... Okay. This was probably the last thing Beth had thought Viv would say. 'Viv knew it?'. What did she know? Beth was slightly confused. 'What did you know darling?'. Tears rolled down Viv's cheeks. All the guilt that this had caused, that she hadn't dared to say anything to Beth, now turned into tears, which eventually turned into loud sobs. 'I knew it would happen Beth'.

Beth could no longer withstand this distance between her and Viv and decided to lie down next to her again, like she had been before lunch. Very carefully she rubbed the tears that were rolling from Viv's eyes off her face with her fingers. 'I'm sorry lieverd. I'm so sorry'. Beth placed her hand back on Viv's bare thigh to comfort her.

'Try to relax Vivi. What exactly did you know was going to happen, Vivi?'. Hard panicked puffs left Viv's mouth, while the tears kept rolling from her eyes, which caused a slight irritation in her ribs, but she would bite through that for the next hour. 'I knew that those men were coming'.

Huh what? Viv knew that those men were coming? How? Has this situation actually been going on for much longer than Beth thinks and has Viv perhaps been threatened? Did Viv have to do certain things that led to this situation, without Beth realizing it? Have these actions taken place more often at times when Beth wasn't at home with Viv? No, right?

The confusion that Beth experienced only grew bigger and bigger. How she hoped that this hadn't been going on for much longer than she actually thinks. How she hoped that Viv hadn't been part of this horrific situation for much longer, without daring to say so. 'Honey, what do you mean exactly?'.