Silent Waves of Whispers

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

“Rae, may meeting with the director.”

“Okay po.” I smiled.

“Photoshoot with Kit in 2 hours, Rae!”

“Noted!” I smiled again.

“Sabi ng Stardome kailangan kang umattend sa show na–”

“I'll go po.” Smiling again.

“Rae...”

And again.

“Tingin sa camera, Rae.”

And again.

“Okay, so now pag-usapan naman natin ang leading lady ng isang Kit Derello,” the host said and glanced at me, smiling. “Kumusta ka naman, Rae?”

“I'm doing well po,” I answered with a smile. Again.

Lies.

All lies. Fake smiles.

I have been in this industry for years. I spent my childhood and my youth here. How come I'm only growing tired of it now? Perhaps I only realized how tiring this was because I now found something I know I would treasure forever?

Him. Him.. that I've missed so much.

“Great job today, ate Rae!” Kit went to me after the show. “Konting tiis na lang matatapos na promotion natin, gawin nating motivation 'yon!”

“Great job today, partner.” I smiled and gently pat his back.

Our movie was a hit. Halos sold out ang tickets sa mga sinehan na nagso-showing noong movie kaya todo promote rin kami ni Kit as on-screen partners. Positive halos lahat ng reviews kaya may chance na masasali iyon sa manonominate sa iilang award shows na paparating.

It has been weeks since I started to gain my image back. Everything was still the same here, just like how I left it. The difference is that.. everything suddenly felt dull.

“Rest day mo bukas until Tuesday, Rae. Saan mo gusto?”

“Condo lang, ate Pers,” sagot ko sa tanong ni ate Perry habang naglalakad kami patungo sa artist van ko sa parking lot.

Napabuntong-hininga naman ang manager ko pero hindi na rin nag-komento. As if I have somewhere to go? It's not like I can go back to Isla Antrades.

Napatingin ako sa lalaking nakatayo at naghihintay sa gilid ng nakabukas na pinto ng van. This was familiar. Too familiar. I gave my bodyguard a small smile before going inside the van.

When I got home in my condo, I drag myself to my bed and slept. Simula noong makabalik ako ay ganito lang ang naging routine ng mga araw. Gigising, trabaho, lunch, uuwi, matutulog. There was nothing new.

I never felt the excitement anymore. Was it because of what happened? Dahil ba umalis ako nang hindi man lang siya nakita? Was it because of my guilt for leaving him during the times he needed someone the most?

I had no choice. Hindi ko hawak ang mga desisyon ko. Kahit gustuhin kong manatili roon, ang mundo ko mismo ang hihila sa akin pabalik dito. The worst part is.. madadamay at madadamay siya.

My body is here but my mind is there. Hindi ko maiwasang mag-alala sa kaniya. Kumusta na siya? Naging okay na ba si Tatay Kaloy? Is he mad because I left? On going na ba ang renovation ng hotel sa resort?

Sa loob ng ilang linggong pagbabalik ko, wala akong nasagap na balita mula sa lugar na 'yon. Wala rin naman akong ma-contact doon. Maliban sa kaniya. But I was ashamed.

I tried to contact him after I landed here in Manila, he didn't answer. Sa unang linggo ko, kapag nahawakan ko na ang cellphone ko after work ay siya agad ang tinatawagan ko. Pero kahit isang beses ay hindi siya sumasagot. That made me conclude that he didn't want anything from me anymore. So I stopped.

I woke up early the next day. Hindi pa sumisikat ang araw ay nasa balcony na ako at nakasandal sa railings. I sipped on the coffee I made.

Tumingala ako sa kalangitan at pinanood ang pag-aagaw ng liwanag at dilim.

For sure he's still asleep. But he'll wake up around 7 and would go to the resort to start his work. To help his tatay. I hope Tatay Kaloy is okay now.

Sa condo lang ako nanatili during my rest days. On the last day, bumisita ako sa bahay nila mommy dahil sabi niya ay paglulutuan niya ako.

“Kumusta work mo, anak? Kumakain ka pa ba?” Mom asked.

“Work's fine, and yes kumakain pa ako, mommy.”

“Good. Maluluto na 'tong sinigang. Hintayin lang natin saglit si daddy mo para sabay na tayong kumain.”

Ever since I came back, Mom never asked questions about Lucho. Akala ko nga ay iyon ang bubungad sa akin pagbalik ko rito sa bahay kaya todo isip pa ako ng mga dahilan na sasabihin para malusutan ang mga tanong niya. Surprisingly, she didn't. Kahit si daddy ay wala ring tinatanong.

Even ate Perry. Wala na talaga silang binanggit. It was like it never happened at all. I don't know if I should be thankful for that or what.

Hindi na rin naman na ako nagsalita tungkol doon. Kahit sa Stardome ay wala akong binanggit. Wala rin naman akong makausap tungkol doon dahil hindi rin naman nila ako maintindihan. Wala rito ang mga nakasaksi sa mga nangyari sa lugar na 'yon. Wala rito ang taong makakaintindi sa'kin.

Wala siya rito.

I went back to work the next day. Then pumunta ako sa Stardome for a meeting. May kinuha ulit kasi akong offer sa isang teleserye and my team is currently looking on it. I'm looking forward to it somehow because the character I'm going to portray is different from my previous ones. Magiging kontrabida ako for this one and it's a challenge for me.

“Ito lunch, Rae oh.” Naglapag ng plate at utensils sa tapat ko si ate Perry. “Kain ka na.”

I stared at the food in front of me. It was seafoods. Particularly... buttered shrimps. But unlike the buttered shrimp I know, the shrimps this time was already peeled.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked away, standing up. “Restroom muna ako, ate.”

Umalis ako doon at tumungo sa restroom. Naghugas ako ng kamay at pinagkatitigan ang sarili sa salamin.

Funny how small things reminds me of him now. It's making my heart ache because it's making me long for him more. Gusto ko na lang tumakbo at bumalik sa kaniya sa lugar na 'yon. But I don't think he will welcome me with open arms now because I chose to leave him while he's having a hard time. Anong klaseng girlfriend ako?

Pero kapag hindi ko naman nilisan ang lugar na 'yon, mas lalo lang gugulo. Kahit masakit, iniisip ko na lang na ginawa ko 'yon para ma-protektahan siya. Para hindi siya guluhin ng mundo ko.

On the bright side, I did not fail on protecting him like what I've promised. But then at the same time... I failed him.

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