49 : face masks

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He nods as though he's heard it a thousand times before, but his eyes tell me he doesn't believe it

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He nods as though he's heard it a thousand times before, but his eyes tell me he doesn't believe it.

"No, Luca, it's not your fault," I repeat, more insistently  .

"I know," he says, but the denial in his voice grates on my nerves.

I cup his face in my hands, looking him straight in the eye. "Luca, it's not your fault," I say again, shaking him gently.

His eyes begin to water once more. "Yes, it is, Ivy," he whispers, his voice thick with guilt.
"No, it's not," I say, my tone unwavering. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was destiny, Luca. Even if you hadn't sent those tickets, something tells me they still would've come.

They wouldn't have missed their son's first concert. And as for pursuing your dream? That wasn't wrong-it was brave. You fought for what you believed in, even when it was hard. You're a damn good singer, and you wouldn't be here today if you hadn't stood your ground."
He listens intently, my words sinking in even as his guilt tries to hold on.

"But I hurt them," he murmurs, the guilt creeping back into his voice.

"Not intentionally," I whisper back, my hands still cradling his face. He slowly processes my words, and now I understand what it means to see the gears turning in someone's head.

"Come on, let's go inside," I say, slowly pulling him until he can support his own weight.
He quietly sits on my bed while I fetch him a glass of water, still lost in thought.

He drinks the water, and with a thousand emotions in his eyes, he whispers, "You hate me, don't you?" Pain is visible in his expression. Something about him crying makes me want to rip every piece of myself apart and burn it alive.
"I could never," I whispered back and it was true. I wish I had it in me to hate him. Nervousness flickers across his face but is quickly replaced by a grateful look.

He hugs me tightly, burying his face in my stomach. I slowly run my fingers through his hair and feel him sigh in relief. His warm breath tickles my stomach .We stay like that for a few seconds before he pulls away, his frown replaced by a soft smile.

"Come on, let's sleep now. We've got to get up early if we want to reach on time." I instantly regret saying that as I realize it means he'll have to leave. He nods, though it's clear he isn't happy about it either. He slowly gets up, dread weighing down every step.

"Do you... do you want to stay in this room?" I blurt out, shocking even myself.

"I-I mean, I don't want you to be uncomfortable, you know, so that's all it is," I say, trying to act nonchalant, but deep down I'm cursing myself for not thinking this through.
He smiles again.

"I'll be back after changing," he says and quickly runs out of the room. I lean back against the wall and release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Why doesn't my brain work around him.I stand up and quickly change while he's gone.

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