Shattered (Beau Brooks Fanfiction)

Chapter 40

Can't believe it's nearly been a year since I've updated, so sorry about that. I'm going to have 5 more chapters in this story. And there's going to be a finale chapter, which is going to be a '6 years later' thing. So you can all find out where they end up.

I knew where I had to go, I had nowhere else. The only person who would fully understand why I did what I did, the only person who truly needed me. My mother. Recalling that she had given me her number the night of my birthday, I quickly unpacked all my things as I waited at the bus stop. Pulling out the dark denim jeans I wore that night, I dug my hands into each pocket. Grasping a small, crumpled piece of paper, I pulled it out. I could see where she had carefully written her number, her writing shaken a little. Taking a deep breath, I dialed her number and listened to the dial tone ring three times before she picked up. 

"Hello?" My breath hitched in my throat as I heard her familiar voice. Just hearing her voice took me so far back, to happier places.

"Hi, mum." I finally got out.

"Kelsie? Is this you?" I could hear the emotions bubbling over in her voice.

I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me. "Yes, it's me. Can I stay with you for a while?" 

"Oh of course, sweetheart. I'm at 54 Crescent Way."

"I'll be over shortly." I said to her.

"Thank you Kelsie." I knew what she meant. For giving her a second chance, for forgiving her. She was my mother.

I hung up and as I saw the bus pull up, I realised I was only a 2 minute walk away from Crescent Way. I quickly shoved everything back in my bag and headed straight for there. My heart was pounding, so many emotions were running through my veins. The last time I had a real conversation with my mother was at my father's funeral she told me, "No matter what you are going through, your father and I will always be here for you. Even if he isn't here in body, he will always be with you in spirit to guide you. Don't ever forget that." I remember it clear as day. After that day, things got worse and worse. But I am finally ready to forgive her and I truly miss her.

As I walked up to the small porch, I could see someone had made an attempt at potting and planting a few flowers but had long forgotten about them. I knocked on the door and almost immediately I heard rustling from the hallway within. The door gently swung open and my mother's bare face greeted me, her smile made my heart warm up.

I didn't say anything to her, I just jumped forward and wrapped my arms around her frail body, and she pulled me into her. I couldn't stop the tears pouring from me, everything I had been bottling up just came out of me. I thought I would be hostile around her but she made everything okay.

Soon enough we were sitting side by side in her small living room, with cups of tea in our hands. I was ready to tell her about Sam, I was nervous of how she might take it. As the small talk died down, I decided to take the chance.

"Mum, what was the last you heard of Sam?" I reached out for her hand and gently cupped it in mine. I saw pain flash across her blue eyes for a split second.

"That nice couple used to send me postcards every so often of how he was doing, he has a real nice life now." It dawned on my she was never told about his disappearance. At that stage she was at a low point, they must of thought it was best not to put more hardship on her.

"He disappeared when he was 7, just two years after they took him in. A gang had grabbed him, forced him to do their dirty work. One night Beau got in some trouble with that same gang and I found him in the house, I could never forget his face. And we escaped, he wasn't hurt but he was traumatized. He's 12 now and back with his foster parents, he will have a hard time readjusting to life there, I wanted you to know. We still have so much to talk about mum." I could feel her hand shaking ever so slightly in mine.

"My little Sammy, how could they do that to him, how could they get away with it?" Her eyes had glazed over and she let a fat tear roll down her worn yet beautiful face. "It's okay, they didn't, they're all doing life sentences in jail for what they did, David told the police everything. And for someone who was captive for 5 years, he's doing amazing." I assured her.

She wiped her cheek and breathed heavily, "Can I see him?" 

"Well he's going to need a few weeks to settle back in but I'm sure it can happen, I don't see why not." I smiled at her, rubbing her hand again.

"I do Kels, I was an awful mother, after Alexander died, I didn't know how to cope, it was so sudden, nobody thought it would happen to him of all people, and a car crash was what killed a strong man like your father, so cruel and unfair. I should have gotten help sooner, he would never have wanted it to end up like this. Your father was the most amazing man I have ever known and he still is the love of my life, but back then I didn't know how to deal with pain like that so I drank and did drugs to stop the pain. But in reality, I didn't stop it, it made me forget for a while but after it wore of it was so much worse. Before I knew it, people were calling in doing 'check ups' then the check ups soon turned to taking Sam's and your things away because next thing I knew, you were going to be re-homed. Alexander's brother, George and his wife Susan are your legal guardians but social services said they had enough room for one of you. Seeing as Sam was only young and would adapt easier, they chose foster care for him. Of course I had no say in the matter because they deemed me insane. After they tried multiple care centers for me, I was sent to psychiatric care, then rehab. I've been living here for a year by myself now. Every month or two the health nurse will call in to see how I am but they're becoming less and less and I'm becoming more and more lonely. And god knows I've missed Alexander but I've missed you and Sam so much more. Knowing that you're both out in the world alone, without me. It's been breaking my heart for the past 7 years of my life."

Listening to her side of the story had me in floods of tears, my eyes had become puffy and tears also streamed down her face. I pulled her in for a hug. "After dad died, you weren't you mum, and it's not your fault. But them precious 10 years I had with you before the accident were the best of my life and you were the best. So please stop being so hard on yourself, you have been for long enough and it's time to stop."

We hugged for a long time, I told her about the miscarriage, everything with Beau, the apartment, life with Susan and George, and every little detail in between. God knows I missed this woman more than anything. By the time we had finished, tears still streaked our faces and we laughed together. "What are we like? The pair of us just non-stop crying!" I laughed at her remarked as I wiped the stains from my face. "Like mother, like daughter they say!" We both giggled again, leaning into one another, making up for lost time.

I glanced outside the window behind her, it was pitch black. I looked at the clock, reading at 10pm, I was surprised at how fast the time flew.

"Well I better grab a blanket and pillow for this couch if I'm going to be staying here for the next few days." I stood up, stretching my tightened muscles.

"Well I have a double bed that I've been sleeping in alone for the last year, I think it's time we set the clock back a few years. It can be like old times again." She smiled at me.